There are many myths about being single. Most of them are negative in nature. And if you’ve been single for a while (or for your whole life like me) it can be difficult to catch these lies and replace them with the truth.
The enemy wants to discourage us. He wants us to doubt God and His goodness. He wants us to become experts in throwing ourselves pity parties. Because while we’re focused on ourselves and the “horrors” of singleness, we can’t focus our hearts on God and His sovereign plan.
Today we’re tackling three of these myths- lies straight from the Devil. Here we go…
Myth #1- Being single means you’re not pretty.
I’m sure you’ve heard it before: “You’re so pretty! Why don’t you have a boyfriend?” Well, I don’t, so I suppose I’m not really THAT pretty!
When people say things like that, it can be really hard not to wonder if something’s wrong with you. Like you have a giant sign floating above your head saying “DANGER! DO NOT DATE ME!” that repels all prospective boyfriends.
Without someone telling you on a regular basis that you’re pretty or beautiful or gorgeous (etc.) it can be really easy to doubt your beauty.
Don’t.
Let me blow this myth right out of the water: Just because you’re single doesn’t mean you’re not pretty. There is nothing wrong with you.
Psalm 139:14 says “I will praise You because I have been remarkably and wonderfully made. Your works are wonderful, and I know this very well” (HCSB).
TRUTH: God made you beautiful! You are stunning just the way He made you. Your relationship status does NOT change this about you. You do not need a boy to be beautiful. You are beautiful because God made you so.
Related: For When You Don’t Feel Beautiful
Tweet ThisMyth #2- Being single means you don’t have anyone to support you.
No one to encourage you. No one to share your hopes and dreams with. No one for you to support and encourage in turn.
A boyfriend can be a great support system, but he should not be your entire support team!
If when you’re single you don’t have anyone encouraging you, then you ought to take an honest look at your friends. Do y’all not build each other up?
Friends should be more than just someone to pass time with. Friends should be each other’s support team.
“Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up! …A threefold cord is not quickly broken.” Ecc. 4:9-10, 12b
And I know not everyone is blessed to have a support system in their biological family (if you do, yay!) but everyone can become a part of a supportive church family. Belonging to a church that will encourage you and help you grow in your relationship with Jesus is such a blessing. And in return, you can serve and encourage the church.
Regardless of who you find to be your support team, it is possible to find encouragement outside of a boyfriend.
{In fact, I believe that even when you do have a boyfriend he shouldn’t be the only one in your support system. There should be multiple people encouraging you, and you should be encouraging multiple people.}
And never forget the Person who you can rely on the most! Jesus is always there for you and willing to listen to you and encourage you.
“Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you.” Jer. 29:12
TRUTH: A boyfriend isn’t the only means of encouragement. You can find encouragement in your friends, your family, your church family and in Jesus.
Myth #3- Being single means God has forgotten about you.
When you look out and see so many people around you dating someone or becoming engaged or getting married, it’s easy to feel like God has forgotten about you.
News Flash: He hasn’t ;)
God has a plan for you, and nothing will shatter that plan. Just because His plan for someone else might include marriage right now, doesn’t mean that’s in His immediate plan for you.
Every person is unique, and His plan for everyone is unique.
“For I know the plans I have for you… Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jer. 29:11
Truth: God hasn’t forgotten about you. He has you right where He wants you to be.
“I give them eternal life, and they will never perish, and no one will snatch them out of my hand. My Father, who has given them to me, is greater than all, and no one is able to snatch them out of the Father’s hand.” John 10:29-29
So there you have it! Three common myths about being single.
If one of these lies from the enemy has been tormenting you, I hope you’ll now destroy the lie with the truth.
As Bob and Larry from VeggieTales taught us, “God made you special, and He loves you very much!” Don’t ever forget it :)
This blog post is an adaptation of a chapter from my eBook, Single Conversations, available now on Amazon Kindle. Find out more.
Katelyn D. Smith
SO so true! I’m learning to love this season of singleness that God has placed me in.
Kara Beth Post author
I’m so glad, Katelyn :)
Nina @ Hugs and Lattes
I felt ALL of these myths when I was single in high school. As an adult during my single times, though, I found myself nestled within a great support system of friends. I really could have used that time to really cultivate my relationship with Christ – and that is one of my regrets, that I didn’t steward that time wisely. However, on the other end, now, I can see where I fell prey to those myths and can pour into my sisters and friends who may feel that way still. Thanks, Kara!
Kara Beth Post author
Thanks Nina! I’m so glad you were in a solid support system during your single adult years! And I’m so glad you’re sharing your insights with others who may be struggling :)
Nina
Myths, indeed! Thanks Kara :)
Kara Beth Post author
My pleasure, Nina :)