The following is a guest post by Abigail Tovah
A few years ago, I was driving with my brother and his wife on a Sunday afternoon, when we started re-hashing their recent wedding. Brittney told me about the wedding gift she gave Kenan, and I instantly fell in love with the idea.
During her single years, Brittney kept a journal with letters and prayers for her future husband. She explained to me how it works, and a few days later, I purchased a leather journal for my own little “project”.
I’ve had my “Husband Journal” for four years now, and it’s been such a special tool in this season.
I’ve written a few posts on this subject already, so when Kara asked me to do a Husband Journal post for her blog, I started racking my brain for new ideas. Brittney was my go-to person for ideas, and we came up with three things a single girl should remember when writing to her future husband.
If you write letters to your someday-spouse, or you’re interested in starting, these three reminders are just what you need! Let’s jump in…
1. Marriage is not the ultimate goal
While it’s fun and helpful to write to your future husband, one thing we all must remember is that marriage is not the ultimate relationship goal. In fact, it’s not even guaranteed. We may desire to be married, but that doesn’t mean it’s a gift God will give each of us.
When you’re writing letters to your husband, you shouldn’t do it to feel “complete” until the day you meet him. Having a husband won’t complete your life or automatically make everything happy and perfect. The Husband Journal isn’t a remedy to hold you over until marriage; it’s something to enjoy while you embrace the gift of singleness and the ministry opportunities this season brings.
Enjoy praying for him and sharing your heart with him now, but remember to be content with singleness at the same time. Hold that husband journal loosely, because it doesn’t guarantee a future marriage.
Related: Why We Should Pray for our Future Husbands
Okay, so now you’re probably wondering why you should even bother, right? Don’t close the tab just yet—Here are a couple of things to note:
We were created for companionship
While 1 Corinthians 7 addresses the reality that not everyone is meant to be married, God did create man and woman to be together. Chances are that you will be married one day, but just remember that nothing is promised. God’s plans are often different than ours.
If one day you realize that God has called you to be single because He can better use you that way, that’s okay!
Writing to your future husband isn’t a waste, even if you end up unmarried. I’ve learned to be diligent in prayer, to channel my emotions, and to trust God with my future through keeping my Husband Journal. It’s still beneficial, even if you have no one to give it to; plus you can look back on it and see what God taught you over the years :)
2. You may not know your future husband yet
I don’t want to generalize this point because I have friends who married their childhood or high school sweethearts. However, oftentimes, people don’t find their spouse until college (or later). So, most likely, you don’t know the guy you’re going to marry yet (depending on your age). The bottom line is this: Don’t write to a specific guy.
It can be tricky to avoid writing to a certain guy, especially if you’re dating someone while you write this journal. However, do your best to keep the journal general and future-focused, assuming you don’t know your husband yet. If you find out later you were dating your future husband, that’s fantastic! The journal will be just as special for him to read, because, even though you didn’t mention him by name, you were still talking to him.
3. Keep Christ at the center
Wherever you are—whatever you do—Jesus belongs at the center. Do your best to keep Him at the core of your letters and prayers to your future husband. He deserves just as much attention in your Husband Journal as your future husband himself!
“So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God” (1 Corinthians 10:31, ESV).
Remember how we said that marriage isn’t the ultimate goal? Well, it isn’t, but an intimate relationship with Jesus is. When we learn to be fully satisfied in Him, singleness becomes happy and fulfilling, and dreams of marriage don’t dominate our lives. Growing close to Him will teach you to be vulnerable, trusting, and obedient—all vital ingredients for marriage, and every season before that.
If Jesus isn’t your focus now, He won’t automatically be when you’re married, and that’s dangerous ground to tread. Practice making Him the center of everything you do, and let Him be your closest friend.
“Since you have accepted Christ Jesus as Lord, live in union with him. Keep your roots deep in him, build your lives on him, and become stronger in your faith, as you were taught. And be filled with thanksgiving” (Colossians 2:6-7, GNT).
That’s all I have! To recap: keep these three things in mind when keeping a journal for your future husband…
- Marriage isn’t the ultimate goal
- You probably don’t know your future husband yet
- Keep Christ at the center
Hold these reminders close as you scrawl down your thoughts in your Husband Journal. I promise you won’t regret it :)
Hey everyone!
I’m Abigail Tovah, a Texas-born-and-raised country girl living in Brooklyn, New York. I’m a high school senior who adores Jesus, hugs, and long talks over coffee. If you were to walk into my house at a random time, you’d probably find me playing the piano, writing, or FaceTiming a friend or sibling (that Texas/New York thing calls for some killer long-distance relationship skills ;) ).
A couple of random facts about me:
- I have 6 older siblings and 3 nephews
- I have a black lab/boxer named Dexter
- Peanut butter and cheese on crackers is my favorite snack
- I talk to myself and laugh at my own jokes (I’m not crazy, I promise)
Hop over to my blog or Pinterest page to learn more! I’d love to get to know you :)
izabela
O hello in 2020! Your post is still valid! Thank you for your grat points (;
Mary-Faith
I love this post! These are such great reminders!
Allison
These are awesome points!!
Leah Grace
When I first started reading this, my initial thought was “please mention not writing with someone in mind, please mention it.” And when you did, I got a little too excited because it is so necessary. Many girls will write/pray for their current crush which may or may not be the person they end up with. If it’s not, it’s not exactly fair to the man God has planned for you. This is great, excellent job!