The following is a guest post by Michaela

“So…there’s this guy….”

Ah yes! The classic beginning to every girl’s crush confession.

I remember those days.
I remember the excitement and nerves and butterflies that assailed me every time he walked in the room.
I remember the nervous feelings I got whenever he talked to me or I talked to him.
I remember thinking about him for days at a time, wondering “Could he be it? Is this the one?”

Yes, many of us have had this happen to us. And many of us let these romantic thoughts and feelings practically rule our lives.

But some of us are experiencing all this for the first time and have no idea what to do with all the emotions and craziness going on inside of us. To be honest, some of us who have experienced all this before still have no idea how to handle it all.

No matter which category you fall into, I got you, girl! Having a crush on a guy is fun and exciting, but it can also be very hard and scary. It’s hard to control ourselves and our emotions in a proper and God-honoring way.

Our culture tells us to let go and wear our hearts on our sleeves, to fall hopelessly in and out of love, regardless of the consequences. Our culture tells us to simply embrace and live in the moment, but doing so could result in life-long problems. And for the Christian girl, falling headfirst into what our culture says is not okay. It completely disregards what God has to say.

So what are we supposed to do then? Well, I’m glad you asked! There are many ways to approach having a crush in a manner that honors God.

Today, I’m going to give you four tips for handling a crush!

Having a crush on a guy is fun and exciting, but it can also be very hard. It’s hard to control ourselves and our emotions in a proper and God-honoring way.

This post includes affiliate links. You can see my disclosure page here; thanks for your support!

1. Pray

Pray for yourself. As girls, we have a tendency to fantasize about things and situations that (let’s be honest) will never happen. Or if they do, they do not go according to how we planned it out in our heads.

I’m totally guilty of doing this. I’m a planner and organizer. I like to have things mapped out before they happen so I know what’s going on. I used to dream about how a conversation with my crush would go, usually ending with him telling me how much he liked me or something like that.

So to keep myself in check, I would pray about it. I would ask God to keep me calm and rational, and for Him to take away my desire and attraction to the guy if he wasn’t the one. And He was faithful more than once.

So pray. I would encourage you to pray specifically for three areas:

Your emotions

When you let your emotions take over, they can leave you in a potentially embarrassing mess. Letting your emotions run all over can leave you irrational in how you handle negative feedback about your crush. You may start to see your crush through blinders, where he can do no wrong and all his actions are justified in some way. This can lead to dangerous habits and situations later on.

Your mind

The mind is very susceptible to irrational thinking when you are infatuated with someone. This is where fantasizing really comes into play. You think about imaginary situations with your crush. Usually, it starts out as innocent things like conversations, but then it can cross over into more serious fantasies like making out with him or even having sex. That is wrong and sinful.

The Bible says, in Romans 12:2, “Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the` will of God” (emphasis added). Ask God to renew your mind so you are able to think clearly about yourself and your crush in ways that are pleasing and honoring to Him.

Your heart

The Bible commands you to watch over your heart.

Proverbs 4:23 says, “Watch over your heart with all diligence, for from it flow the springs of life” (NASB). You must guard your heart from sinful desires, which can come when you don’t keep your emotions or mind in check.

The Bible also reminds us that “the heart is deceitful above all things” (Jeremiah 17:9). If your heart is not focused on honoring God, then it will lead you to do and think all kinds of evil. So ask God to give you a pure heart that desires what is good and honorable.

Cute Prayer Journals on Amazon:

    

2. Stay connected with God

When you’re infatuated, it’s hard to think about anything or anyone else. All you want to do is think about him and dream about him. But be careful! He can easily become an idol in your life. An idol is anything or anyone that takes up more of your thoughts and time than God.

Make certain your spiritual walk does not suffer and decline when you have a crush. I’m not going to deny that this is difficult because I know from personal experience. That is another reason you must keep watch over your heart.

To stay connected with God, strive to have a consistent quiet time with God. Read His word. Pray for guidance and for continued spiritual growth. Ask God to help you keep your focus and your heart on Him instead of your crush. Make it your goal to keep God first in everything. Keep your desires in line with God and His word.

One of my favorite verses in the Bible is Psalm 37:4, which says, “Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart.” He will give you the desires of your heart that match up with His desires and plans for your life. And trust me, His plans for you are WAY better than your plans for you!

Related: How to Place Your Mind on God {Instead of Guys}

 

3. Seek wise and godly counsel

When you initially have a crush on someone, seek out an older, wiser woman. That woman may be your mom, your teacher, or a woman at your church. She will be able to give you advice on how to handle the situation and your emotions, and she will also be able to detect any red flags that you may not be able to see.

I would also encourage you to seek your parents’ advice and approval. Their opinion on who you like matters just as much as their opinion on who you date or marry. They can also see red flags and potential bad situations that you can’t see.

I always made it a rule to not like a guy if my parents did not approve of him. I didn’t do this because they told me to; I did it out of respect for them and because I knew they wanted what was best for me.

Most of all, God commands children to “honor your father and mother” (Exodus 20:12), and having their approval on who I like falls in line with that command.

But don’t just seek counsel and advice. LISTEN to it. Don’t brush it off when you don’t like what they have to say. The advice your mentor or parents give may not be what you want to hear, but it may be in your best interest.

Proverbs 19:20 says, “Listen to advice and accept instruction, that you may gain wisdom in the future.” King Solomon also says, in Proverbs 12:15, “The way of a fool is right in his own eyes, but a wise man listens to advice.”

 

4. Look at his spiritual walk with God

First off, is he even a Christian? If you are a Christian, then a non-Christian guy is completely out of the question, no matter how cute or sweet he is.

The Bible says “do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers” (2 Corinthians 6:14). He cannot encourage or help you in your walk with God. He will only distract you away from God’s best for you, and your relationship with God will suffer for it. Paul tell us in 1 Corinthians 15:33, “Do not be deceived: ‘Bad company ruins good morals.’”

But let’s assume your crush is a Christian.

Does he go to church on a regular basis? Does he seem genuinely interested in God? Does he seek out a deep, meaningful relationship with God?

These are all important questions you must ask. Maybe you need to ask him those in general conversation. You may need to simply observe the way he conducts himself. Is it in a God-honoring way? You can also, discreetly, ask people who know him or your mentors about these things.

Most of all, pray for him. If he’s not a Christian, then pray that God would open his heart and mind to the truth of the gospel. If he is a Christian, ask God to continue to build him up into a godly young man, whether he’s meant for you or for someone else. Praying for him will help you get your heart and focus in the right place when dealing with him and your feelings.

 

So there you go! Four tips on what to do when you have a crush.

If you still have more questions or want some more advice, check out this awesome vlog from Girl Defined Ministries on “How to Think Clearly When You’re Totally Infatuated.”

I hope you found these tips and the video helpful and encouraging! As always, it is a pleasure to share with y’all! God bless!

All verses are taken from the English Standard Version unless stated otherwise.


IMG_5122Hi y’all! I’m a 21-year old college student, born and raised in the heart of Texas! I’m completely obsessed with all things having to do with weddings! On that note, I’m slowly starting my own wedding planning business (yay!).

I love all kinds of music, historical fiction books by Melanie Dickerson, Carry Grant movies (if your my age, you probably don’t know who Carry Grant is, but even so, your movie life has been gravely deprived of pure awesomeness!), “The Lord of the Rings” movies, dragons, and tiny puppies!

Above all, I love serving and following Jesus, and I can’t wait to see all the crazy, wonderful things He has planned for me on my life adventure!

Read more Joy Because Grace guest posts by Michaela.


A note from Kara:

I absolutely love all of the tips Michaela mentions in this post :) I wanted to add something in regards to her second point, “Stay Connected With God.”

When we are crushing on guys, it can be hard to keep our minds on Christ, as we are instructed to do in Colossians 3:1-4. 

If you would like to study this verse more closely, I created a three-page workbook to help you break it down. If you’re a subscriber, you can access it on the Freebies page. If you’re not a subscriber, you can learn how to gain access here. :)


Let’s be Instagram friends! @kara_beth17

136 thoughts on “4 Ways to Handle a Crush

  1. Carla

    Hey this is really helpful!! I do need help though. I’ve known this guy for about 5 months now. He’s a Christian and we agree on a lot of things and have great conversations about the Bible and different topics. I trust him a lot and he also trust me so thats great. So my problem is that we have hung out quite a bit just one-on-one which I love but I’m just not sure if he likes me romantically or if were just friends. I think as of now, we’ve just been close friends but I know that I like him but just unsure if I should tell him how I really feel!! I’m a university student so if any older Christians could answer that would be great:)

    1. kirsten

      oop, well I’m only in 7th grade, and don’t got that much experience with guys….(but maybe don’t go right in and blurt out ur feelings, I’ve tried that before and it didn’t turn out well) but that’s just the “advice” from a 7th grader

  2. Chloe

    I really like this boy that I met at a summer camp last summer. He has told me on several occasions that he really likes me too. But I know that he doesn’t really trust me but he trusts our other friend that we both hang out with a lot. I know he doesn’t like her, but they are really good friends. And I can’t have boys’ numbers so I only get to talk to him once a week. I feel like we’re not really that close of friends but I want to get closer. What should I do?

    1. callista

      chloe i know i can just email u on email but it is more fun to do it on here
      so i was gonna say kirsten probably can give u advice she is very good at it

          1. kirsten

            hey Chloe! welcome to the party! I’m not an expert, cuz I’m definitely struggling a lot myself, but in ur case……well
            1. don’t try to make him trust u or push urself into that position, it happens over time, not exactly a forced thing….if u wanna talk it over with him, u could depending on his personality and how u think he would react if u Brought it up.
            2. don’t ask ur parents or guardians again and again for boys number, cuz that would make it a lot worse
            3. maybe talk it over with ur friend????? depending on their personality/how they would react

    2. kirsten

      hey u guys there’s this really good sonf that could apply to 2 different thing is u think about them “Riley Clemons run-in after u” (lol)

        1. kirsten

          and I think that im a little less shy around him, like I was gonna wave at him at uth group….but I didn’t cuz he was doing something else and wouldn’t meet my eyes, lol….so anything new with Landon???

  3. callista

    ive liked this one boy forever he is 3 years older than me and is the pastors son i love him so much and even cry about it he likes someone else though by the way he is ridiculously handsome and sweet he even sings what should i do

    1. kirsten

      lol that’s so sweet! :) my crush plays piano and I sing on my worship team:) well, prob don’t go too fast or b overly nice and talkative to him, cuz I’ve tried that in the past and it NEVER works… if he likes y, he’ll take the first step, meanwhile try to take it slow and trust God with the rest!😊

        1. kirsten

          hmmmmmm….well do u have youth group at any time during the week? or like a middle school high school thing at ur church?

    2. kirsten

      also….does anyone have any advice for starting new conversations when emailing gets awkward???? I’m stuck in a jam here

        1. kirsten

          Ummmm like I mean he’s 14 and I’m 12 and my parents don’t know anything about us emailing or anything, so it would b a little weird if I just went to his house to learn piano… so like it would b a little weird, thx tho:)

  4. Rachael

    I had crush on a guy in our church,since he accept my friend request on facebook we’ve been greeting and playing with each other, but recently he has being ignoring me he does not greet nor call me like before i dont know what’s wrong.

    1. kirsten

      maybe it’s something personal in his life that he is going through and it’s hard on him…. Maybe u could ask him if something’s wrong…. (idk maybe…) otherwise try to be patient and wait for him to “come back to his senses” or get over the difficult thing he could b goin through B PATIENT 😊

  5. kirsten

    so i like this guy and he just happens to b my best friends brother…he has included me, stood up for me, been nice, complimented me…etc. my friend has been so helpful as to somehow find out he likes me back, and with my permission she told him i liked him….so here we r, we both like eachother, the only times i see him is at youth group, church, or whenevr i visit her house….the one problem is im on 7th grade, and he is in 10th…(im 12, he is 14) and idk if i should avoid him, try to b friends, let him take the step to ask to be friends……or what…. think any of u could help?.

    1. callista

      hi my name is callista i like someone in 10th grade to and i am also a 7th grader i would talk to him though and see whats up dont avoid him bc than he might think your mad at him.

        1. callista

          of course!! that is so cool that you guys are emailing too!! maybe God is pulling you 2 together i hope that’s the case 4 me 2

          1. kirsten

            hopefully it is, my bff said that she won’t tell me something till like 5 or 6 years until “it” happens so…. I’m thinking maybe he’s gonna ask me out which makes me feel weird, hbu? cuz I’m only 12… it so cool we’re both in 7th and both like a 10th grader :) how’s u meet ur crush?

          2. kirsten

            oops didn’t answer ur question… well we talked a little and saw eachother quite a bit before I even realized I liked him… it’s easier to email than to talk to him in person, if u know what I mean

      1. kirsten

        so…..ur suggesting I like TALK to him about I’m thinking and all the awkwardness???? or EMAIL him to find out what it’s all about??

        1. callista

          yes and i met my crush bc he goes to my church plus school
          i cant believe that your crush might ask u out that’s exiting
          he probably is waiting 4 u 2 talk 2 him

          1. kirsten

            that’s cool! yeah well probly not like soon but prob in the next few years or maybe my friend meant that he was gonna ask to b friends, but yes I should probably talk to him more in person and step out of my shell…I’m the type of person who is shy at first, but when u get to know me I’m really outgoing and goofy 🤪 hbu? (also what’s ur crush personality?)

          2. kirsten

            okay……heres the thing…..u said yes (to me to email him bout all the stuff)……and i want to, but it could cause more avoiding and awkwardness, and a while ago in November I did email him saying that I felt like God was telling me to stop with all this, and he said he understood…. and so we avoided each other for a while and then I didn’t feel like God was telling me to stop anymore, and so slowly but surely Joel (his name) started to talk more and stuff…so I took that as a signal I could start again….and so that’s kinda what I’ve been doin a few months….but if I bring it up again about like “hey so we’re acting awkward, wanna talk more in person?” like idk….lol

          3. callista

            i read your replies down there it wouldn’t let me reply though so i doing it up here so that is a great start again like u could say that u think u misunderstood what God was trying to tell u.
            my crush is very athletic he is very competitive and sweet and very touchy one time he bumped into me and put his hand on my shoulder to say sorry and i was drinking water at that exact moment(my darn self) choked on it so i could reply to him LOL btw his name is landon

          4. callista

            i read your replies down there it wouldn’t let me reply though so i doing it up here so that is a great start again like u could say that u think u misunderstood what God was trying to tell u.
            my crush is very athletic he is very competitive and sweet and very touchy one time he bumped into me and put his hand on my shoulder to say sorry and i was drinking water at that exact moment(my darn self) choked on it so i could reply to him LOL btw his name is landon so i couldnt reply to him i was 😐choking

          5. kirsten

            yeah its been weird with the replies….and LOLLLLLL that’s hilarious, yeah Joel is very athletic and competitive too lol :)

          6. kirsten

            oh also lol if u wanna c my crush….search up “foothills community church” then go to Facebook (u don’t need an account to god onto Facebook) and then look at the sermons and glance through them, he plays piano and has black hair (not exactly “attracting” but really nice and encouraging….u might c me on one of the videos, I look like a 12 year old with brown curly hair…….lol its very confuzzling

          7. kirsten

            CALLISTA!!!!!!!! I did it…I actually did it…..so here’s what I said to him over email……
            “so…um, srry bout all the awkwardness at uth group and church and stuff, its easier to email then talk in person, if u know what i mean…so if i ever like am not as social at church or something, dont take it personally it can just b…awkward sometimes”
            THIS IS WHAT HE SAID
            “I get it, i am kinda the same way”
            and then we still b emailing so…..the rest is yet to come……THX FOR THE ADVICEEEEE I was so scared when I sent the email, but it turns out he’s the same way

          8. kirsten

            also I know I’ve already like bombarded this website with random crap….but do u think I should ask Joel to b friends?? 2 of my friends are like DO IT THEN IT WILL ALL BE NORMAL BETWEEN U TWO….but I think I should wait till its a bit more normal and I can act normal around him, cuz what the point in having a friend that ur always trying to avoid??? what do u think?

          9. kirsten

            also I know I’ve already like bombarded this website with random crap….but do u think I should ask Joel to b friends?? 2 of my friends are like DO IT THEN IT WILL ALL BE NORMAL BETWEEN U TWO….but I think I should wait till its a bit more normal and I can act normal around him, cuz what the point in having a friend that ur always trying to avoid??? what do u think???

          10. callista

            kirsten thats great i think you guys are pretty much already friends but if you fell like ur not u can or pray about it
            if you wanna see my crush look up vbc valpo and then do pastors family go to images his sister his dad and his mom is in it its old pic. he is way more handsome now lol i can send a link maybe

          11. callista

            kirsten that’s great i think you guys are pretty much already friends but if you felt like ur not u can or pray about it
            if you wanna see my crush look up vbc valpo and then do pastors family go to images his sister his dad and his mom is in it its old pic. he is way more handsome now lol i can send a link maybe

        2. callista

          kirsten that’s great i think you guys are pretty much already friends but if you felt like ur not u can or pray about it
          if you wanna see my crush look up vbc valpo and then do pastors family go to images his sister his dad and his mom is in it its old pic. he is way more handsome now lol i can send a link maybe

          1. kirsten

            lol kk, ill try…were not quite friends officially, cuz I still got to work up the courage to act normal and all in person….but like we discussed all the awkwardness and I told him the backstory of like why God was telling me to stop and all, we both agreed to keep emailing, and to like try to be more “outgoing” at church and all :) idk if it allows links to b sent through this but, ill try
            yeah, it won’t let me send a link…..but try searching “Foothills Community Church Spokane” and then go to the Facebook, and try the video of November 28 or December 12, I think I sang on those 2 days for sure….if that doesn’t work, then I might need ur email to send an actual link

  6. kirsten

    so i like this guy and he just happens to b my best friends brother…he has included me, stood up for me, been nice, complimented me…etc. my friend has been so helpful as to somehow find out he likes me back, and with my permission she told him i liked him….so here we r, we both like eachother, the only times i see him is at youth group, church, or whenevr i visit her house….the one problem is im on 7th grade, and he is in 10th…(im 12, he is 14) and idk if i should avoid him, try to b friends, let him take the step to ask to be friends……or what….

    1. callista

      kirsten that’s great i think you guys are pretty much already friends but if you felt like ur not u can or pray about it
      if you wanna see my crush look up vbc valpo and then do pastors family go to images his sister his dad and his mom is in it its old pic. he is way more handsome now lol i can send a link maybe

  7. Khanya

    Hello my name is Khanya,I am 15 years old and I have a long story to tell,so I had/have a crush on this girl since we were both in Grade 3 and we were both taught by her mother who had told her this year that I like her,my best friend who is the girl’s cousin told his mom then his mom told the girl’s mother who told her.I was trying to get her number via her mom,but no progress so I eventually wanted to take a break,during that time,earlier this year I had a crush on another girl who is actually one of my best friends and she is the only girl I had declared my feelings for and she rejected me but we r still friends,2 weeks later she dated one of our close friends and I am fine with that.Then a few weeks later I ended up having a semi-crush on another girl,but I didn’t tell her and she also ended up dating one of our closest friends and I am fine with that.Honestly,I know God wants me to wait on Him,I just feel like I want an answer that’s not from multiple people but a universal answer,by the way I like playing soccer and I like Liverpool FC,I also like reading history on anything,I just started my journey on following God and I am also reading the Bible and putting him first,for all these three girls I like their godly characteristics,that is really what attracted me to them,I still want to get to know the first girl I like despite her not wanting to date me,I am fine with being friends and yes all three are Christians.I feel excited to talk to u guys and give and receive advice,hope you enjoy your day and God bless you

    1. kirsten

      ummmm, that sounds kinda tough….but the thing is in the Bible it says that women and men, men and women….not women and women, and men and men……..

  8. Didi

    Thank you for this amazing article! I read it over and over as I processed a recent crush. I’m 25 and though I always thought getting over a crush was supposed to get easier as I got older, it really hasn’t. Yet I continue to trust that somewhere in this time of waiting and of an aching heart God is working out a greater and more beautiful plan than anything I could dream up.

  9. Joy

    thank you for this 4 tips… i am a single girl of 26 but my problem is those i love or crushing dont love me back. i am a christian and i want a christian and happy relationship but i always get opposite. Even the christian i have made an idol in m,y heart dont even care or love me back… I have been searching for help but thank God i have found it. i will apply this 4 tips and I believe the Almighty God will give me my desires as i focus on him more from today. praise God

  10. anonymous

    hey um can christians be friend with non-christians? I’m a non-christian and I’m sorry for being on your site if you don’t want me to be here lol.

    1. Tori

      I don’t own this sight obviously but absolutely christians can be friends with non christians!! We would never want to push you away!!!

    2. kirsten

      this website isnt just for christians….maybe God was leading u to this website, so u can know him personally, u r wanted here, u r wanted in God’s family…..its ur choice to b a christian or not

  11. Nananaa

    Gosh thank you so much for this whole writeup! I’m almost 19 now and I kinda having a crush now but more of myself trying to stop myself from getting into this whole crush thingy again hahaha I would say I’m a bit old for that? I had my first crush when I was 13 and that is really not the youngest age to have a crush! I had a crush on this guy in my church for reallyyy long time (approx 5 – 6 years) and I finally kinda got over him( whew! Thank God!) I mean he’s a really good guy and all but until now we aren’t even friends so I believe all this while I have been in love with the idea of liking him. (It’s more like I’m used to having him as a crush) just sharing so the younger ones can see this too! I never had the courage to confess though, so you little ones who confessed, I’m proud of you! I would say there’s totally nothing wrong to confess, and even if you did and it turned out awkward, both of you will come to an age where you look back and be like “gosh how childish we were back then…” so don’t worry and confess! But my advice is to start as friends, get to know the other person better first! God bless:)

  12. Lisa

    Consult this Relationship Doctor, I got my boyfriend back through his help, …….

    You can kindly contact him,

    [[Robinsonbuckler11@ gmail]] .com

    Thank you so much!!!!!💟👍💟

    1. Michaela

      Ask away! If you have a question about girls or a specific girl, this might be a good place to ask :)

      1. Martin's

        Okay, here we go. How do I approach a girl when u have a crush on her. Cause I tried that and….yeah, let’s just say that didn’t turn out well. And I’ve noticed that most of the girls i have true feelings for, end up having someone else on their mind and if not that, I just don’t tell them how I feel or some other thing that might not make me have a relationship (for some, reason I don’t know why).The funny part is that, there’s always gonna be a particular girl who I do not like, at all but likes me anyways. The point is, it just doesn’t work for me. Always. (Which is wiered by the way). I could keep going but …(I’m tired of typing 😓😰😰). So I’ve decided that i won’t have feelings for any girl. And even if I did, I wouldn’t tell her how I feel. What do u think

        1. lecops havefoundme lol

          im a guy to, but i’d say take it slower, like, imagine a girl doing what you will try to do, and that can help you understand how to do it, in a vision that makes it more understandable.

        2. Danielle

          Here’s the girl’s perspective… If you have a crush on a girl and you want to tell her, firstly, BREATHE. What you’re about to do is nerve wrecking and we get it. So take your time. You just want to be gentle but straight forward. If you don’t know her, let her know that you’re interested and would like to get to know her more. If you do know her, tell her that you’ve been enjoying the friendship and have grown to like her. Sharing your feelings with the opposite sex is just about keeping calm and telling the truth. I don’t know how old you are, but if you haven’t had much success, maybe it’s for you to pump the breaks and live a little. There’s no rush to find a girlfriend. Go outside, play with your friends, explore hobbies, get to know Martin. And when you feel ready for a serious relationship, tap into the bold Martin that can confidently let a girl know that he is interested. I hope this helps!

  13. Tori

    Hi! I could use some advice right now. Before I ask, I’ll give you some details. I’m a 16 year old girl and I like a 17 year old guy from my church. We both have a relationship with God, I’ve been completely changed by Him and am doing my best at keeping God as my focus. I am really into this guy like I’ve never been before. I am often told I have an “old mind”. I’ve started a few conversations with this guy, and I really enjoyed them and want to get to know him more, even if he only likes me as a friend.I really want to tell him soon because I can’t stand not knowing much longer, I want to move on if he doesn’t feel the same or be able to go into a God centered relationship if he does. How do I not ruin a potential friendship by telling him how I feel?

    1. Kara Beth Post author

      Maybe ask him if he wants to get coffee with you sometime and y’all can talk to each other and get to know each other better that way :)

    2. yamilis m

      hi! um I like this boy in my church he is the same age as me (I’m 12 in a half by the way) and this Saturday there is going to be a wedding and I was thinking to confess my feelings to him and I am (YAY!!!) but we do talk and he told one of my friends in church that he wants to have a family with me in the future and in new years we were celebrating new years day in my church and we did clamor and when we were done he hugged me I didn’t expect that to happen but yesterday in my church one of my friends told him that I’m going to confess my feelings to him on Saturday and he told her that he was waiting for me so I am going to confess my feelings to him. And you guys might think that I am young but yea I like to follow the ways of my Lord . May god bless u all.

    3. Martin's

      Now that, is a tough question. But I solve tough questions (kinda). But joking apart. U are not going to spoil no friendship mama. He needs to Know. Just need to tell him how u feel. But u have to be careful when using ur words. That’s were the problem comes in. It’s not as easy as it sounds but just try not to make things awkward. Alright. Even if he doesn’t feel that way, so what. That’s just how life is. Just go for it. And make sure u’re still friends afterwards. Doubt me, ask an adult. Yeah, I’m just 16. I can advise u a bit cause I’m a guy. But u need to ask an adult. Physically.

    4. Christvie Dian

      How did it go? I’m curious because I’m also 16 and I like a 18 year old guy, he teach kids at church and i really like him, but if he doesn’t I also want to move on

  14. Tema

    hi. I’ve confessed my feelings to my guy crush. I feel aweful. he didn’t take it to heart though, but still can’t help beating myself to why I said that

    1. Reba

      Be honest, to yourself I mean. What do you like about him. Maybe there’s a link there? I mean I’m not a love genius, but if his reactions matter more than what God has planned for you, maybe that feeling is God calling you to wake up. Idk tho.

  15. Reba

    So uh, hi.
    I’m going on 13. And before you you think I’m too young or something to have a crush, I just want you to know that you’re not the first. (But please here me out!) I have a mental age of 39. It just makes my social life so hard. I like this guy, but I think, maybe he’s too old for me. I’ve been in a relationship with the Lord for about 4 years. This guys that I have feelings for is 6 years older than me. He has a very strong walk with the Lord. I really like his energy and passion to serve the Lord. My knees buckle down under me and all the muscles in my body loosen when I’m around him. The thing is, he probably thinks I’m just any other kid at church. I never can quite work up the courage to talk to him. The past few days though, I have been asking God to calm the battle inside of me. Now I just feel an overall resolve of peace. He’s not an idol. I don’t have wild thoughts. But I still don’t know what do about him.
    Please give me advice,
    Regards, Reba

  16. Reba

    So uh, hi.
    I’m going on 13. And before you you think I’m too young or something to have a crush, I just want you to know that you’re not the first. I have a mental age of 39. It just makes my social life so hard. I like this guy, but I think, maybe he’s too old for me. I’ve been in a relationship with the Lord for about 4 years. This guys that I have feelings for is 6 years older than me. He has a very strong walk with the Lord. I really like his energy and passion to serve the Lord. My knees buckle down under me and all the muscles in my body loosen when I’m around him. The thing is, he probably thinks I’m just any other kid at church. I never can quite work up the courage to talk to him. The past few days though, I have been asking God to calm the battle inside of me. Now I just feel an overall resolve of peace. He’s not an idol. I don’t have wild thoughts. But I still don’t know what do about him.
    Please give me advice,
    Regards, Reba

    1. anointed brown

      hey there Reba My name is anointed i am also in my teens i am 17 years old and ive been a christian from a really young age. and you are not to young to have a crush it usually around your age that you start noticing boys and such lol to tell you the truth i was really boy crazy from age of 8 up into my teen years i have to say ive definitely have mellowed out the past few years cause my own relationship with God has gotten more intimate. I would i say during your situation i would continue to Pray about this situation that if God is wantting to open this door for you to go into this relationship he will open it for you. cause God’s timing is always best. I would try to start a friendship before anything intimate ask him thoughtful questions like “How do you encourage your spiritual growth” now you dont have to ask that that was just an example just get to know him as a person And this young man that your interested in if he is lead by the holy spirit and feels like God has laid upon his heart to pursue a relationship with you he will pursue you it should not always be the girl pursuing the guys. And i would use your teen years pursuing God than really pursuing guys. Cause when the right guy comes along i will be attracted to you not just because your beautiful but because of your relationship with God. here are some of the books i read to keep on the right track and mind set. “When God Writes Your Love Story by Eric and Leslie Ludy” “Sacred To Singleness by Leslie Ludy” “Boy Meets Girl by Joshua Harris” these are really good if wanting to prep your self before going into a relationship my 15 year old sister reads them too and loves them!!!
      anointed brown recently posted…You Carried Me Book ReviewMy Profile

      1. callista

        hi my name is callista i read that book when God writes your love story it is so good i definitely recommend that also!!

    2. Martins

      Uuuum Reba, I’m Martins, and I’m a guy. Obviously. Let me just ask u a reasonable question. How old are you? and how old is he really. I mean I just joined this website PS I don’t even know who u are or why there’re only girls here. Like I am so lost right now. But to tell you the truth. If I were the guy and u went up to me and confessed ur feelings…mmm…. I’m 19 and ur 14 for instance, (I mean I don’t no nothing about u so…). I’lled say; “what in the world !😶. No guy that’s that old would think of dating a girl that’s that young. it just feels so wrong in his mind. Though they say age doesn’t matter. But if it’s just too much, then it’s sin, for it’s in d Bible. Uum…I don’t remember (dam it! not in d middle of an advise). But the best thing to do is just pray to God concerning these feelings. By the way, do u guys have a Facebook page or something?

    3. kirsten

      that seems really tricky….my mom and dad r 6 years apart, so the age dont matter as much, Reba. but i read in the christy miller series, that guys should be the initiators, and girls the responders…so maybe instead of worrying about HOW to tell him ur feelings, think “is he a christian? Do we go to the same youth group?etc…” i one time wrote a note to a guy i liked, and confessed to him my feelings…..now i am completely over him and whenevr i see him at school, he knows i liked him….I REGRET IT!!!!!! and (dont judge but i am 12 years old, givin this advice……look for the name kirsten, thats what im goin through now with a different guy) anyway, think really hard if u wanna confess ur feelings for him, i got lucky….my friend was the “messenger” so i didnt have to confess my feelings for him personally…..maybe try to get someone else to ask him if he has feelings for u….

  17. Ani

    Hello!

    Thank you Michaela and Kara. These are things I knew but I was blinded by my emotions.
    May God bless you!

  18. Pearl

    Hey
    I’m 14 years old and I was scrolling when I came across this website.
    So there’s this other guy that I like, I just met him 6 months ago and I’ve been trying to stop crushing over him for months now.I tried avoiding him on social media and at school but it doesn’t seem to work. I’d like to add that my relationship with God just started this year because of my 2 new friends so I don’t think I’m that much of a true Christian.

    1. jabulani mabuza

      im only 15 and i started my relationship with god a few months ago, its never too late, and dont be deceived, to have a fruitful relationship with god at even 14, is extremely young and very very mature. when i go to church (mostly of old people) they’re all very proud of the few children and youth that go to church

  19. Cynthia Waka

    I’m 28 and a single mum. I think somewhere in the back of my heart, I have given up on love. I hate it when I start developing feelings for a guy because Ii know it’s going to end anyway so what’s the point. I’ve recently found myself smack in the middle of crushing over a guy and so this resource has been useful. Thank you and God bless you.
    Cynthia Waka recently posted…Be still and know that I am GodMy Profile

  20. Cynthia Waka

    Thank you. I needed to read this. I’m 28, single, have a 60year old daughter and once again, I have found myself smack in the middle of crushing over someone. My heart hurts because I struggle to believe in the concept of marriage for me. It feels impossible. So whenever I get a crush on someone, the eye rolls in my heart become evident. I think I just want to handle this in a way that will honor God. So this time round, I’ve come looking for help on how to maneuver.

  21. anna

    thank you ! so I’m only 13 but i feal like the Lord is just calling and pulling me twards him, i don’t know what to do ! my family likes going hunting,the guy hadn’t ever ben and dad playes music in church (he’s 16) and there kinda friends so dad asked him to go hunting with us ! i don’t understand why tho ? he’s just so on fire for christ that i literally feal like i am burrning up arround him . i would like to know do you think I’m too young ? he acts very sweet around me and we hang out but i just get the chils what do i do ? thank you for your help !:)

    1. Kara Beth Post author

      Hi Anna!
      I have a few questions you should ask myself:
      1) What do your parents think? Do they approve of dating at 13? If so, what do they think about this guy?
      2) Have you prayed about it and do you have a peace from God?
      3) What’s your hurry? I ask this one with sincere kindness. Why do you want to be dating right now? Why not wait? Coming up with a pro/con list is helpful and I have a post dedicated to that subject. http://femmwithkara.com/dating-in-high-school/

      Also, as a piece of encouragement- I’m 23 and currently dating the guy I had a crush on when I was 13. We didn’t start dating until we were 20 though. Sometimes it’s better to wait, but my story isn’t necessarily your story. Pray about it, talk to your parents and other godly mentors in your life and determine with wisdom what you want to do. But waiting isn’t necessarily saying “No, never!” it could be just saying “Yes, but now right now.”

      Let me know if you have other questions :)

  22. Peculiar

    I have a crush on this guy, his my coursemate in university, I don’t know for sure his level of sprirtuality but I know his a Christians and during our church 21 days fasting he joined, I a m trying my best to stop crushing on him.
    Sometimes he acts as though he likes me but sometimes he won t even check up on me.
    Am so confused.

  23. Chanice

    Hey…
    I have this mentality with my crush: We’re a year apart in age BUT he’s in College and I’m in High School. So I ultimately feel like I’m wasting my time.

    I met him and church and he’s always checking on me- see how I’m doing. I pray to God, and I tell Him constantly, “Please tell me I’m just going bananas for this guy and wasting my time.”
    But the day I made that prayer was when my crush kind of started to confront me more. We’re both foreign students under guardianship, so it makes me feel good that I totally understand why he feels ‘excluded’ (both of us are coloured students). It’s all this hocus pocus nonsense because I told God 4-6 years back about giving me an opportunity to have a soulmate- And this guy showed up. So I’m in this dilemma because I’m being a bit stubborn to what God is trying to tell me. But my one worry is that he probably is living his life already in college, and he has no interest in befriending High Schoolers.

    Reading your blog made me realise that I should stop running because I do tell God, I just don’t take the opportunities He gives me. I would settle for being friends… But I’m even that scared to be friends.

  24. Joyce

    Hi Kara and Michaela,

    I found this post on your top post section. This is a well written and very informative article. I totally agree with all your point especially point number 3. Because your elder, usually had a very strong instinct whether you date a good person or not. So your point, “she will able to detect any red flags that you may not be able to see” is valid. I will not say it is 100% correct but based on my experience it really carries some weight.

    I’m very happy if my daughter has this way of thinking when she grows up later.

  25. Annalisa

    Hey! I was just scrolling and saw your article. Theres this guy I really like and he really likes me too but he’s going through a tough time with his family right now (his parents are getting divorced) and things have been weird for us because of it. He’s a really good godly person; he’s scared that we might end up divorced if we end up together. He keeps saying to take things slower but we backpedalled really far like to the point where we’re basically just friends. I think about it all the time and I get really frustrated. I can’t seem to fix my eyes on God instead of him…do you have any advice?

  26. Airy

    Hello! This was so helpful! ❤️ I’m about to be a sophomore in high school and I’ve found myself falling for a wonderful guy who was my lab partner in biology. He was always so kind, funny, and sweet, and supported me through everything. I draw often, and seeing my art would light up his day. He even told me that I inspired him to draw. Anyways, the day after my teacher reassigned seats, I finally used some confidence to DM him on Instagram and ask for his phone number. He never answered, and I later found out that it was because he didn’t know what to say because he didn’t know if I was flirting or not. I wasn’t; I really wanted to become better friends with him because he’s an amazing, genuine guy. Since then, we haven’t really talked, because the only class we have together is biology and we sit on opposite sides of the classroom. I’ve shown him my art once since then and he just got so happy because I used his color suggestions. Keep in mind, he’s a very popular guy, and when one of his friends came over and interrupted, he completely ignored what he said and held out my drawing, saying “look at how amazing this is!”. I don’t know what to do because I’ve heard from a teacher that he’s always looking at my art in her classroom and talking about how great it is & how sweet of a person I am. I really, genuinely like him & I have no bad intentions at all. He wears a cross around his neck every day, and that tells me that he’s a Christian. I’ve seen him pray before tests, like me. I’ve prayed to the Lord a handful of times, asking for a sign, and I’m just not sure what I’m getting. This guy and I make eye contact a lot and our names get called side by side all of the time even though his last name begins with a J and mine a B. I trust God fully with this situation & have placed it in His hands. I truly feel like if God didn’t want me to like him, my feelings would have subsided months ago. I don’t know what to do because I’m nervous and don’t want to message him again. I don’t want to seem desperate, but I really feel like God’s plan for me may just involve this boy. I’d talk to an older woman about this, but my mother doesn’t support me with anything. I would really appreciate any advice. Thank you so much! Have a blessed day. ❤️

  27. oluwadara

    thank you so much for this post…you are indeed right! this crush affected my relationship with God because I can’t even meditate on God’s word. I will surely find my way back to God! thank you

  28. Joy777

    Hi! I need advice please . So here it is- I have a crush on a christian guy for like 3 years now and i’ve been secretly looking at him whenever I have the oppurtunity to but last year I think he knew that I had a crush on him because he caught me looking at him very often so now I think that he has a crush on me because I had a crush on him first (if you know what I mean). I’m very confused.I prayed to God to remove my feelings for him if he’s not the one for me because I dont want to have a relationship that just happened just because I liked him then he liked me. I want it to be God’s best not just crushing on someone just because they showed affection or vice versa. I am sorry for my grammar as english is not my first language. Thankyou very much and God bless!

  29. emily

    Hello,
    I am 13 years old have have a crush on my small group leaders brother. he is almost 3 years older than me

  30. Ally

    Thanks for this post!! I’m 17 and I’ve liked a guy from church since I was 12. He’s 20 now but we’re both in our first year of university. I haven’t talked to anyone about my feelings and it’s starting to take a toll on me because I feel like I can’t cope with them on my own. I’ve suppressed my feelings for so long. Since our families are very close, I don’t want to tell my mom because it feels awkward and could make things different.

    I’m praying that if he’s not the one for me, God would take away these feelings that could possibly be infatuation. But this year my feelings have been unusually strong and I’ve never experienced anything like this before. They’ve started to cloud my mind and every time I’d try to focus on something else, the thought of the guy just kept creeping back. I know that this is a bad sign and I’ve been praying that God would give me the strength to prioritise my relationship with Him above all things.

    I keep praying that if this guy is the one for me, that God would show me. However I feel like I can’t discern God’s voice. Sometimes I wonder if it’s God speaking to me, or myself speaking to me. How can I tell what God is trying to say if I can’t tell if the internal voice I hear is from Him or from myself? I’m not sure but I have a small feeling that this guy isn’t for me. But because I’ve had these feelings for so long, it’s so hard to let go. What should I do? Is it a good idea to talk to the guy himself about it? :)

    1. Adriana

      Hi Ally,

      You are doing a good job that your seeking God and I encourage you to keep it up.

      I think you should talk to an older woman that you trust about this because she could help you.

      Also, I think you should wait for him to pursue you. I know their are some Christians where they don’t see anything Biblically wrong with a female pursuing the guy, but I believe it does when it said the man should take leadership in the home and church.

      Your discernment can be from yourself because your desire is to be with him. But it doesn’t mean that God still has a plan for you guys. He maybe does but it isn’t the right time.

      I hope this helps and I’ll pray for you.

      It can be very hard. I’ve had obsessed over a guy before and everything went so wrong because of my evil actions.

  31. ANDISIWE

    Thank you for your post I am going to keep praying to God and keep my focus on Him. Just the thought of the possibility that he (my crush) might not see me the way that I see him hurts. I really don’t like how I’m reading too much into the actions of a genuinely nice guy who is on fire for God. He is my pastor by the way but not married or engaged, however, I don’t know his relationship status. Ow and the romantic scenarios I keep creating in my head are the worst!

  32. Noma

    Hie all m a 34years old girl , m single and i think i have a crush on sombody we pray together , i always dream about him and now it disturbing me on prayers because the way he act towards me confuse me worse he really care about each and every detail of my life so i don’t know weather he loves me or not pliz help

  33. ESTHER

    HI, actually i have a question, what is love, how can i know what am feeling is true love not infatuation.

    1. Adriana

      Love is what 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 says it is “Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails…”

    2. Kara Beth Post author

      Hi Esther! I actually did a Facebook Live video on this topic the other day :) You can find it here: https://www.facebook.com/joybecausegrace/videos/vl.1912060318823773/2020697251533608/?type=1

      The English language is lacking when it comes to describing love- we only have one word for it! But there are many different kinds of love. Are you feeling the friendship-love sort of love? The forever, unconditional sort of love? Or are you feeling the sexual, husband/wife sort of love? (More on that in the video.)

    3. Christina Kalapnauth

      Love is when he respects u , if he gives u his time and shows he care it is potentially love. It doesn’t matter how many times he says I love u as long as he doesn’t pay attention or disrespect u it’s not love .

  34. Ariana

    hi! I was scroling down your post and I came across reading your above post.. somewhere I’m in a similar situation right now.. I have a crush on this particular guy who just happens to be a complete stranger, I haven’t met him personally, no chats, no talks and he doesn’t even know me or my existence because like I said we’re just strangers but I can’t stop thinking about him.. I’m having sleepless nights, I can’t focus on anything.. I’m trying to get over him but it’s not happening.. could you be kind enough to help me out.. I need some advice.. I know I’m being silly here but these stupid emotions are killing me..

    1. Adriana

      Hi Adriana,

      I don’t think your emotions are stupid. I actually had experienced that before when I was in eighth grade. It was weird to me as well because I just gave one look and I’m like “he is gorgeous. I’m in love”.

      I secretly tried getting information about him because I was too shy to talk to him and when he friend request me on Facebook. I tried messaging him, but he never answered. So I did a bold move and posted on his profile and I felt embarrassed because he told me to leave him alone. Actually, I had this happen to me twice because I had a crush on a cashier in my Pharmacy.

      I would say that it sounds like an obsession. In order to stop is it to put your focus on God. If your not already doing this, therm pray, reading the Word, praise and worship God, serving God in your church, and seek counsel.

      Our Christian friends and older women in church would be a great help. And you might have to avoid communicating with him because you would want to protect and build your relationship with the Lord.

      I hope this help because I know how hard it is, but nothing is impossible for God. He will help you as long as your willing to obey Him.

  35. Michayla

    I loved what you said about having a crush! I need a little help. So I like this guy at my school and he’s kind of quite. I’m 15 and a freshman in high school and he’s a sophomore. I’m pretty sure he used to like me a while ago but then my friend told him to stop starring at me even though I didn’t tell him to do that. And so I felt bad and now I like him. I’m not sure what to do because I’ve prayed a lot for a few months about this. I’ve prayed that God would make these feelings go away if it’s not meant to be. But I’m not sure if I should start a friendship with him and if so I don’t really know how. I’m kind of a shy person too so it make this hard.

    1. Adriana

      Hi Michayla,

      As I read what you said it sounded like you gain a crush on him because of the thought of him liking you. I know in my experience that’s what happened to me. I didn’t like the guy in a romantic way, but once a friend told me that he likes me things went all emotional. Remember what the writer says, so far it’s working for me. Ha-ha I have a little crush on a two guys (mainly one guy) and I didn’t get the chance to know them because they are away for college, plus I am super shy as well. I only get to see them in the summer and break.

      I’m 21 years old and I have always easily crushed on guys. My desire is to be married, so it isn’t easy. When I was fifteen the guy I told you about was my idol. As you know idol means putting anyone or anything above God, which long story short that our relationship ended bad. He wasn’t my boyfriend and he had a girlfriend, then I got jealous and insecure so I gave my body to him. She found out after breaking up with him and been dating 8 months.

      The LORD blessed me with two wonderful friends that were raised in a Christian home and one of them was saved. The inpact they gave me was amazing because my relationship with God has restored. I was saved when I was 12 years and things I have done in high school was not godly. That day when I returned my focus on Christ I chose to trust God in my romantic relationships because I realized my way is not better than his (btw I had other relationships with guys). Now for 3 years I have been single.

      The point of the testimony is that don’t get wrapped in feelings that suddenly happen because “love is patient and kind” (1 Corinthians 3:4). I want to encourage you to put God first and build your relationship with Jesus in your single years. When it is the right time for dating God will let you know and believe me you would know that God said yes. As the Bible says “My sheep know My voice” (John 10: 14 and 27).

      Also, know these if he is the right guy for you. Then wait for him to pursue you because God told men to do that in this way he is taking leadership. It isn’t our job as females to take leadership.

      Last tip: I learned an aweseom tip for learning to hear God’s voice. The red light means stop, so that is the conviction of God. Yellow light is slow down, which means to wait. And green means to go and you will experience peace.

  36. Jaedyn

    Hey, I have a crush on one of my new close friends’ 17 year old brother.

    All of us are Christians. I just met the brother for real about 2 months ago when my family moved to a military base in England that they are also stationed at. They moved here about 10ish months before us, and we both came from the same base in New Jersey, and even attended the same co-op though my friend and her family and I never met. I’m already good friends with my the one girl, who’s 15 (I’m 14) and we got to know each other throwback online messaging before I moved here. Both of our families are already really close. We see each other quite a lot. Me and the 17 year old brother laugh a lot with each other and share glances, and he is only in 10th grade due to his birthday being in February (in all honesty he’s about to turn 17, 16 now). We are about the same height, and despite our age difference we get along really well and have quite a bit in common. We run in the same circles, are in the same classes at our homeschool co-op, and I am friends with his closest friends, and he with my new ones. I have been writing down all the little moments we have and the things I like about him in a journal and a word document before that, and I have pages of possible signs… I do like detail and lists. I have made sure to recognize his faults as well, and I still like him. I have made sure I don’t treat him like an idol.

    I have asked God to make me not like him if he’s not gonna be the one, or to make it clear he doesn’t like me, but I’m about 70% sure he does and I obviously still like him. I’m not sure if I want to tell my mom about it because I don’t want it to be awkward when our families get together and I’m not exactly confortable yet, but I don’t have anyone else who knows him who I can tell. I’m not telling his sister or mom. The only two people I told are my bff from NJ and another friend from NJ as well. Both were over text.

    Do you have any advice about how I should act, or if I should tell my mom, or how I can not get infatuated if I’m not already? Could there be something maybe? Your post really helped me, but I wanted to ask specifically. ❤ Thanks!!

    1. Adriana

      Hey,

      As I read what you said that everything you did sounds right because you are being careful. I’m glad that you are because it wasn’t easy for me when I had my own experience.

      The only thing that sounds off is the age because you guys are under eighteen, but soon he will be. It will be illegal for him (when he turns 18) to be with you because you will be consider a minor. For his protection and yours, if things get more serious that you should wait.

      I think, since you are young that relationships should wait because when you date someone in the God’s way it would head to marriage.

      So ask yourself, if you are ready for marriage? I suggest to do research and seek God for counsel like you are doing now. I hope that helps!

        1. Adriana C Bonilla

          Your welcome. I’m glad that it help. I know that God has a special plan for you. No matter what we can trust in the LORD because He loves us so much. In Christ we can find strength because nothing is impossible with Him. God bless you, Jaedyn. 😊💕

    2. kirsten

      i get where u r right now…..i like this guy and he compliments me, includes me, shares glances, stands up for me, plays the piano while i sing on stage at church… etc….so long story short, my friend is his sis….and she told him i like him, (with permission) and she told me he likes me..so here i am kinda stuck…and idk if i should tell my parents, they know the family very well, ans i dont want to have an awkward conversation with my parents either. just so u know, we can relate

  37. Lexi

    Hello, I have known this guy since the 7th grade and we have always been pretty good friends. So time went on and we would innocently flirt throughout the years. last year I was just minding my business and my spirit out of nowhere had this yearning for him. I have had several dreams about our unspoken words. I have prayed for God to take it out of my mind and spirit of he is not for me but the dreams won’t stop. He is the only man I am attracted to. I’m really attracted to his spirit more than anything. But he has not approached me. What is going on?

    Please help 🙏🏾

    1. Michaela

      Hi Lexi,
      Well, let me start with asking how old you are now. Are you in high school or college? Knowing your age will help to be able to better answer your question.

      However, for the time being, I would encourage you to continue to pray about your dreams and your feelings for this young man. Maybe God has put him on your heart because he needs desperate prayer for things that no one else knows about. You may be God’s instrument to moving in his life.

      I cannot answer your question about what is going on since he has not approached you. All I can do is speculate. Perhaps he hasn’t approached you because he’s not the one for you. Perhaps God is working on both of your hearts, and now is not the right time. Perhaps these dreams are a ploy from the enemy trying to distract you from what God has planned for you. I honestly don’t know. But what I do know is that if you lay these feelings, these dreams, these hopes down at God’s feet daily, He will help you work through it all. He will guide you to what is best for you in His timing, whether it is a life with this young man or with someone different.

      I hope this was of some encouragement and help for you, Lexi!
      Blessings,
      Michaela :)

      1. Lexi

        I am 19 years old and he is also 19. Thank you for the help. All of the things that you are saying are the things I am wondering it could be too.
        Thank you ❤️,
        Lexi

  38. Maria

    Thank you for this post :) I am 16 years old, and I’ve had feelings for a certain guy I know for almost 4 years now. He is very godly, more so than I am at times. I have been struggling a lot with my situation and my feelings, because at one point, he seemed to begin to reciprocate my feelings, but many things changed after that, and now, I have a suspicion that he is starting to become interested in another girl whom I know very well. Even though I don’t want to kill my feelings, I’ve prayed about it and asked God to take them away if they’ll prove to be detrimental to my relationship with Him and bring me more pain, but they aren’t going away.

    1. Michaela

      Maria, I totally understand what you’re going through right now. I when I was 16, I had serious feelings for a guy I had known since the 2nd grade. I had actually liked him for a total of 8 years. But when I was 16, I heard God specifically tell him that he wasn’t the one for me. It took me about a full month to surrender my feelings for this guy over to God. I prayed for a long time for those feelings to go away. Being 16 isn’t an easy age, but it does get better. A lot of things change during your high school years. My 16 year old self probably wouldn’t believe where I am now: 22 years old, in college…and still single.

      I encourage you to continue to pray for God’s direction with your feelings. Some things are not fixed with one or two prayers; they take many prayers over time. Your feelings may not go away from a while, even if he’s not the one for you. These things take time, Maria. Feelings aren’t something you just stop having. It’s not easy to surrender our feelings, and God knows that. That’s why He gives us grace and time. He’s patient with us, and He’ll be patient with you. Trust Him and His timing. I promise He won’t let you down! I hope this brings a little peace to you, Maria.
      Blessings,
      Michaela

  39. Shay

    Thank you so much for this post! I’m 23 and have recently met a man (24) that I think really has potential to be the one and this post hit on the parts of myself that I’ve been asking the Lord to guide me on. This helped to reaffirm the areas that I really need to watch and also remind me that I don’t have to do it alone. The Lord will help me and guide me with grace whether this is the one or not. Thanks Michaela!! :)

    1. Michaela

      You’re welcome, Shay! I’m so glad it helped you and was an encouragement! Praying that God will guide your heart and show the right path for you!

  40. Zoe

    This was very helpful! It is helping me revaluate the guy I’m head over heels for. We’re becoming friends right now. When do I know that it’s the right point to take it a step further? Disclaimer: I’m in the sixth grade.

    1. Michaela

      Zoe, I’m so glad this post is helping you! And I’m glad you are becoming friends with this guy! However, I would caution you to be careful. As you said, you are in the 6th grade, and that’s such a young age to start a relationship. If it doesn’t work out, it may bring a lot of unnecessary heartache. I’m 22 and went through my first breakup 6 months ago. It was so hard and painful. I can’t imagine going through that same pain at your age. If it were me in your place, I would wait. A lot changes between middle school and high school. You’ll change and he’ll change. But you can still be friends.
      If however things do move forward, let it be his move. Don’t initiate anything other than friendship. If he is interested, he will pursue you. Let him do that. Wait and pray, for you and for him. If it’s the right thing, God will open the doors. If not, He will close them. Trust Him, Zoe. He won’t let you down! ❤️

      1. Zoe

        Thank you! That’s very helpful. I’ve started praying more about it, and it’s actually really been helping me. Thanks again!

  41. Jessica

    This REALLY helped me understand my value with God and to try and understand if my crush is truly “the one” for me, or if he’s just meant to be a friend. I’ve been praying about it aimlessly to God. Part of me hopes he is the one, but honestly I’m fine if he isn’t. We can still be friends in the long run.

    1. Michaela

      I’m so glad to hear that Jessica! I’ve done the same thing many times. I’ve been crazy for a guy and felt like I was aimlessly praying about it. But honestly, it wasn’t aimless. God was still listening to my prayers…over and over again. And He was still answering them, but in His timing. He was guiding me through it, either by keeping me from saying something too soon (or at all for that matter lol) or by removing that guy from my life. Still attempt to maintain a friendship with him, Jessica! From the sound of things, it seems like you’re already doing just that! Trust God and be attentive to His leading! ❤️

  42. Jenniffer Dickens

    Awesome post. I am 50 and still single. These posts are helping see im not just and awful person that no guy could ever want. I also like Cary Grant!

  43. Allie

    Love it girl! This is actually so helpful… I wish I’d had it earlier in college! Definitely will be sharing with some younger friends, too! <3

    1. Michaela

      Thank you Allie! I’m glad it was an encouragement, and I’m glad it will be able to help some other young ladies! :)

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