To the girl who’s going through a breakup…

Dearest friend,

I don’t know what to say, except I love you. I’m here for you.

I want to help and I want to make everything all better. If I could, I would take away all your sadness in an instant. I would help you feel happy again. Bring a smile to your face.

Except I can’t. And I feel like a horrible friend because of it.

My friend, I don’t know how you are feeling. And I don’t want to pretend that I do.

I’ve never gone through a breakup. I’ve never had my heart broken by the rejection of a guy I like. And I’ve never been broken up with nor have I ever broken up with someone else.

As odd as it may seem, right now I feel guilty because of it.  

Since I’ve never gone through a breakup, I feel like the least qualified person to be writing this letter. There are so many better people you could talk to, that you could turn to. Better blogs you could read.

I don’t want to pretend to get it. But I do want to be there for you. 

If I could, I would crawl through this screen and give you a great big hug.

I would sit with you and stroke your hair while you sob.

I would listen to your woes and heartaches.

And I would hug you again.

But I know deep down that’s not enough.

I can’t do anything to make you feel better. This frustrates me to no end- please understand that. I want to help you… I just don’t possess the power to make you happy all the time.

And honestly, it’s probably a good thing that I don’t possess that power. Because being happy all the time because you’re not able to feel sad doesn’t seem like true happiness. It seems like a dystopian novel waiting to happen.

So I don’t wish that you wouldn’t ever feel sad… I just wish there was something I could help you feel better.

Tears fill my eyes as I whisper, I’m sorry.

Sometimes English is such an inadequate language for what I want to express. In Spanish, one says “Lo siento” for I’m sorry, which literally translates to I feel it. 

Lo siento that you’re going through this. That your heart is breaking. Like I’ve said, I can’t imagine what it must be like to be going through a breakup. I can’t feel what your feeling, but I can feel that you’re feeling.

Lo siento, my friend. I feel it- I feel that you are sad, I feel that you are confused, and I feel that you are hurting.

My friend, I don’t know how to take away your pain, but I do know where true comfort is found.

Turn to Jesus, my friend. Cry out to Him. Pour out your sorrows upon Him. Seek His face.

I can’t take away your sorrows, but I can point you to the One who can.

So, dearest friend, that’s what I want to do. In this moment, as I crawl through the screen to stroke your hair and give you hugs and listen while you vent, I will point you to Jesus.

Now, I must clarify, Jesus is fully capable of taking away your sorrow, but God is not the sort of God who’s purpose is to make us happy all the time. If you’re looking for a religion that’s all about happy, Christianity is not it. However, Christianity is about love, grace, and compassion.

And on that note, Jesus understands what it’s like to be crushed. What it’s like to be forsaken. What it’s like to be rejected.

And while I can merely wish to be there with you right now, Jesus really can be there with you. He has promised to never leave you nor forsake you. He will never leave your side, and that includes when you’re in the middle of a breakup.

I encourage you to check out the Psalms.

That book of the Bible is so good at capturing raw emotions. I’ve found so much comfort in that book over the years, and I believe you can too.

So, when you can reach for your Bible, flip open to the Psalms.

Here are four verses to start with:

“I am at rest in God alone; my salvation comes from Him. He alone is my rock and my salvation, my stronghold; I will never be shaken.” -Psalm 62:1-2 HCSB

“Cast your burden on the LORD, and he will sustain you; he will never permit the righteous to be moved.” -Psalm 55:22 ESV

“You have kept count of my tossings; put my tears in your bottle. Are they not in your book?” -Psalm 56:8

“The LORD is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.” -Psalm 34:18

My friend, I repeat what I said at the start of this letter. I am here for you.

If you ever need someone to talk to, feel free to message me on Facebook, DM me on Instagram, or shoot me an email at kara@joybecausegrace.com.

But before you reach out to me, I hope you cry out to God. I hope He’s the first One you turn to in your time of hurting.

Much love,
Kara

P.S. During this time of deep sadness, never apologize for your tears. Never apologize for feeling sad or broken or confused. Don’t apologize for the messy bits of your life. Because if you weren’t messy, you would have no need for Jesus.

. . .

Related: 22 Verses for the Brokenhearted

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Posted by Kara Beth & filed under Singleness. This post has 2 comments.