As Christians, we are to strive to honor God with how we dress. However, dressing modesty doesn’t mean we have to all dress the same! That would be so boring!

Some girls may choose to only wear skirts. Some may choose that wearing leggings as pants is fine so long as their shirt covers their bottom. There are so many ways to dress modestly, and that’s why having a personalized modesty guide is soooo important.

Before we begin, let’s have a quick review:

Modesty must flow from the heart.

I’m saying this again because we are entering the realm of “How to Dress Modesty” and this realm can come across as legalistic.

Modesty flows from the heart. Not legalism.

As Christians, we should seek to honor God with everything we say and do. This naturally includes our clothes. So if we’re striving to follow Him, a {personalized} modest wardrobe will follow.

That being said, let’s dive into making personalized modesty guidelines!

How to create personalized modesty guidelines (1)

First, we must recognize that modesty looks different for every person.

There is not one set “modest wardrobe.”

However, there are 2 basic ideas that I think most Christian girls can agree upon when it comes to modesty.

  1. Don’t show butt
  2. Don’t show boobs

But what “don’t show butt” and “don’t show boobs” looks like changes from person to person.

I’m pretty tall. So, someone shorter than me could wear a skirt that I wouldn’t feel comfortable in because of my height. I also don’t have much in the chest department. So I may feel more comfortable in a top that someone else wouldn’t.

Modesty isn’t a concept of “this dress is okay but this one isn’t.” Like I’ve said a million times now, modesty begins and ends in the heart.

Each person needs to come up with their personal guidelines.

I’ve heard it said that it’s a good idea to know what you want your physical boundaries to be in a dating relationship before you start dating. That way you know where you stand before you find a guy that you’re super attracted to.

For me, I’ve made the commitment not to kiss a guy until our wedding day and this obviously means kissing is off limits for my dating relationships. This doesn’t mean that I think kissing is wrong. It just means that for me, personally, I have chosen not to kiss my boyfriend.

Like how you need boundaries preset in dating before you even start dating, you need “boundaries” when it comes to clothes before you step into a clothing store.

Here are some things to consider when creating your personal clothing guidelines:

  • How much leg is okay for me to show?
  • How low can my tops go?
  • Is it okay to show my shoulders?
  • What about tops that show my midriff?
  • What about swimsuits?

As you answer these questions, be sure you pray about it. After all, our intention in dressing modestly should be to glorify God with our bodies.

If you’d like, I created a free fill-in-the-blank worksheet you can fill out as you create your personal modesty guidelines. If you’re a newsletter subscriber, you can access the worksheet on the Freebies page. If you’re not a subscriber, you can learn how to gain access here.

My personal standards for clothing shift periodically. Presently, these are my general guidelines:

  • Shorts should be mid-thigh or longer.
  • Leggings are great under skirts or dresses or tunics… but not as pants.
  • When wearing a skirt or a dress I shouldn’t be able to see my underwear in the mirror when I bend over
  • If I place my hand just below my collar bone, I want the top of my shirts to at least meet my pinkie. Preferably my ring finger.
  • When it comes to swimsuits, I like to wear a tankini top and a pair of dry-fit gym shorts or a tennis skort.

Sometimes though, there may be an occasion that I would break one of my guidelines.

For instance, in May I wore leggings as pants on a 10 hour plane flight home from a mission trip. The wife of our leader had given me really cute leggings that had U.K. flags on them, and I wanted to wear them when she could see them so she would know I liked them. I just made sure to wear a t-shirt that covered my bottom and called it a {very comfy} day.

What are your modesty guidelines? 

What are you personally, as a daughter of the King, comfortable with wearing?

If you feel comfortable and honoring to God wearing leggings as pants, then by all means wear leggings as pants! :) I don’t like wearing leggings as pants, so I don’t.

Please, please, please don’t just copy my standards for your own and call it a day. Really think about what you are comfortable with.

Once you have come up with your modesty guidelines, I’d love it if you’d share them in the comments :)

Be sure to check out the other posts in this series!

June 8th: 3 Things You Need to Know about Modesty
June 22nd: 4 Helpful Hints for Dressing Modestly

One thought on “How to Create Personalized Modesty Guidelines

  1. Megan

    I think I’m slowly working out my modesty guidelines. Last year I bought this dress that is cute and stripey, but it’s one of those ones that is tight all over and I never would have bought it before but I liked it at the time and just did. But I haven’t been able to wear it since because it makes me so uncomfortable that you can see EVERYTHING when I wear it. And that to me feels like it is over the line.
    I am currently hunting for some sort of overshirt that I can wear with it haha but no luck so far.

    Reply

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