My name is Hannah and I am nineteen years old. I am a full-time student at St. Ambrose University, studying nursing! I work at a little Ice Cream Shop in my hometown, which is tons of fun! I love the outdoors so much, hiking, camping, mountains, lakes, animals, trees… you name it, I love it. I spend a lot of time in the Word, getting fueled up by God’s love! I can never get enough, it’s all just so good! I also love painting, I paint canvases… They may not be all that good, but it is something I really love doing.
What’s your singleness story?
I had my first boyfriend towards the end of my 8th grade year, since him, I’ve dated a total of 9 guys… and a girl. Every time after a relationship would end, I would find some other guy who called me pretty.
See, I didn’t care about anything, I just wanted someone to make me feel good about myself. Most none of the guys were respectful, but I didn’t care, because they called me pretty. If I didn’t have a boyfriend, I was on online sites finding guys who just wanted nudes. This was okay with me though, because after I would send them they would tell me I was pretty.
I eventually got to the point where I realized this is not what I needed. I grew up in a Christian home and I grew up believing in purity, although I just took that as not having sex.
I began thinking that guys were not the right thing for me, for they tempted me with this too much and it seemed to be all that they wanted. This is when I thought dating a girl was the right way to go… I was wrong. That relationship ended in about a month, because I was very uncomfortable. I finally started going out with a guy who didn’t seem to care much about my body, he seemed to genuinely like me. Although, this is the guy who ended up taking my virginity. This relationship also took up almost three years of my life, until I realized that it was unhealthy, and not what God wanted for me.
Not a single one of my relationships had put God at the center of it. After this relationship was over, I jumped to another guy who called me pretty… but I knew God at this point. I had known God, but not the way I did then. I realized that this is not what I needed either and was able to tell him that there was no way that that relationship could work. I knew God had a plan for me, God had something better for me.
This was the very first time since that first boyfriend in 8th grade, that I was completely without a boyfriend or just a guy to call me pretty.
If it is in God’s will for me to marry, then there is a man out there who will not care about my body, he will care about my love for the Lord. There’s a man out there who will want to lead me closer to Christ, rather than sin.
I know now that my worth comes from Jesus. I am who I am, because that is how God made me.
I love being single now! I feel like I’m not tied down to anything, I’m able to take a spontaneous trip, study abroad, hang out with my friends as much as I want! I am focusing on myself and strengthening my relationship with Christ, and that is the best relationship I could ever ask for.
I’ve even been able to start what I call the “Ring Movement” with my best friend! We sell rings to show girls to find their worth in Jesus Christ. That we are princesses, because we are daughters of the King. We should not let anyone but Jesus define us, because he sees us as irreproachable. Irreproachable means flawless, faultless, blameless, perfect, etc. This is truth that I hope girls across the world will be able to know!
What’s the best thing about being single?
The last boyfriend I had was very clingy and would not allow me to do certain things. Now that I am single and free from this, I feel that I am able to explore the world, do what I want to do! When I was with him, I had to turn down my dream of studying abroad, because he didn’t want me away from him for that long, but I can do that now!
I am applying to be a camp counselor over the summer to share the love of Jesus with children, which I would have not been able to do before. But most importantly, I am able to grow tremendously in my faith, being able to really focus on the Lord.
What’s your biggest struggle when it comes to singleness?
My top two love languages are quality time and physical touch. With past boyfriends, we spent a lot of time together. This was important to me, for quality time showed my love. Now that I am single, I find that I get lonely a lot of the time, or will just really want a hug. I’ve been able to spend more time with my friends, but sometimes I lack that close, more intimate relationship.
What’s one piece of advice you’d give your fellow singles?
Use this opportunity to explore yourself! Explore the world! Who are you? Use this time to really figure that out! Figure out who God made you to be and really focus on what God’s plan is for you. Spend more time with the Lord and in the Word, get filled up with the great words of our Heavenly Father.
Thanks for stopping by for this week’s edition of My Singleness Story. My Singleness Story is a series for singles, by singles. It’s a place for singles to have a voice and to share what they’re learning and struggling with during this season of life. It’s where we come together and learn we’re not alone. If you would like more information on how you can share your singleness story, you can find it here.
Read the My Singleness Story archives.