Have you ever faced peer pressure to get a boyfriend? I sure have…

It was the spring semester of my freshman year of college. My (then) roommate had been happily dating her boyfriend (now husband) for about 2.5 months. And like any friend who was falling in love, she wanted me to be happily in a relationship as well.

One of my guy friends and I were mutually “in like,” and we both knew that someday we would probably date.

But I could tell that my roomie wasn’t happy that he and I were still single. One night that January, my roommate and I sat down, and at her prompting we came up with things I should say to this guy.

Things like “I know we’re both busy and life’s only gonna get more crazy as we get older, so we should start dating soon…”

She even suggested I set a deadline, so if he hadn’t asked me out by then I would move on.

So, one afternoon I asked the guy if he and I could talk.

I can’t remember much of what we said, only that at one point he smiled (very cutely, I might add) and simply said, “Trust me.”

In the days and weeks that followed, I thought about those two words a lot. “Trust me.” I decided that I did trust him, but more importantly I trusted God. During those weeks, I got my first taste of what it felt like to truly be contently single.

And I decided I would forget the deadline my roommate had suggested, and learn to be content with waiting.

kaaaotre6yy-clem-onojeghuoI was able to see the bigger picture of that semester.

My crush was an intern for a local youth group, and I didn’t want to be a distraction. Additionally, I was planning on studying abroad in Costa Rica for a month that summer, and I knew it would be really hard if we were dating and then I left for a month. Finally, I was developing awesome friendships with the girls in my dorm that I probably would not have made if I had been dating him.

I was content and happy being single.

That March, my roommate sat me down for a talk.

She said she was frustrated at how he hadn’t asked me out yet, and that I should move on and find a different guy.

Since I was now completely content with how his and my friendship was progressing, her urging to move on kinda annoyed me. I knew the fact that he hadn’t asked me out yet had nothing to do with how awesome he was. I also knew that I wanted to wait for him and that ultimately the timing wasn’t right at that precise moment.

I knew her heart was in the right place. I knew she only wanted me to be happy.

But I don’t think she realized that I was happy. Happy being single and happy being his friend and happy in our mutual “being in like”-ness.

Which brings me to the main question of the day:

What do you do when you face peer pressure to get a boyfriend?

When your friends are happily in dating relationships and they want you to be dating as well?

When you truly are content with being single, but their constant pressure makes you sick of your singleness all over again?

Facing peer pressure to get a boyfriend is no fun, but there are ways we can stand strong in our contentment.

Experiencing peer pressure to get a boyfriend can be a real bummer. Here are 3 things to do to stand strong in being contently single.


3 things to do when you’re facing peer pressure to get a boyfriend:

1. Realize your friends want you to be happy.

I doubt our friends purposefully try to torture us by pushing us towards a relationship. (If your friends are, however, it might be time to look for new friends.)

We need to first look at things from their perspective.

They are happily in a relationship and know first hand what joy having a boyfriend brings. They want you to experience this happiness as well.

They also probably want you to have a boyfriend so the four of y’all can go on double dates.

2. Reassure your friends that you are happily single.

{But only do this if you are happily single. Don’t lie about it.}

Sometimes I think it’s hard for people to believe that one can be happy with being single. People tend to have the misconception that people can only be happy when they have a “significant other.”

This is a lie.

We can be happy while we are single, because (1) our joy comes from Jesus, and (2) singleness does not define us.

So if you are contently single, but you’re experiencing peer pressure to get a boyfriend, tell your friends that you are happy being single and to please stop pressuring you.

Let them know that you truly are happy that they are dating someone, but that happiness doesn’t just come from a relationship. True joy comes from Jesus.

Related: 2 Keys to Being Contently Single

3. Have a life.

If your friends are like my freshman roommate, they might need some convincing.

After all, it’s easy to say one thing but feel another.

So don’t just tell them you’re happy being single, go out and show them you are. Have fun with your friends and family! Serve others! Read that book!

Most importantly, continue to pray for contentment. With friends pressuring us to want something we don’t have, it can be very difficult to remain content.

Related: The Secret To Being Content

So what happened with that crush of mine?

We didn’t start dating anytime soon after that January discussion of ours. In fact, two years passed before he eventually asked me out.

Even though the conversation I had with him at my friend’s proding didn’t really do anything, I am thankful that my friend convinced me to talk to him about our relationship. The semester that followed that talk was one of the times I was most content in my singleness.

If this post encouraged you, would you please share it with a friend so it can encourage her as well? Thanks! :)

4 thoughts on “3 Things To Do When Facing Peer Pressure to get a Boyfriend

  1. Kristen

    This is awesome!! Your posts are always fabulous, so well written, and so relatable! I’ve been struggling with my season of singleness for awhile now and I’m still working on getting to that place of being content, so this is reassuring to read! :)


  2. Christine

    Kara, I love this post. May God use it to bless and encourage many a single person and bring the reassurance that it’s OK to be single and to wait on God’s timing.


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