A few months ago a reader emailed me and asked if I could write a blog post about what it means to give your heart to a guy.

“By the way could you do a blog on what it means to give your heart to a guy? I’m not sure I understand what it all means. Because can’t you give your heart just by your evil thoughts?”

Great question, my friend. And quite frankly, this question stumped me. Which is why the blog post she requested is just now being published– I had to think about this some!

My first thought of what it looks like is from the T.V. show Once Upon a Time.

In that show, the villains can literally rip out someone’s heart and hold it in their hand. The person who’s now missing their heart doesn’t die, but instead they are now at the mercy of the one who holds their heart; they are forced to do what ever the villain commands them to do.

Maybe that’s sorta what it’s like? Ish?

But also, that could be a really pessimistic way of viewing falling in love…? LOL!

Then I wondered about giving our hearts to THE guy.

THE guy who loves us, created us, died for us. If you haven’t caught my drift, I’m talking about Jesus. :)

After all, doesn’t Jesus hold our hearts? Is it possible, then, for us to fully give our hearts to a guy since they belong to another? Should we give our hearts to a guy if we’re Christians?

At this point in my thinking, my head started to hurt.

I remembered Unashamed refers to this in some way, so I grabbed the book and began flipping through it.

I thought maybe the author, Tracy Levingson, might have some good ideas on the subject that could point me in the right direction in figuring this out.

On pages 88 and 89 of Unashamed: Candid Conversations about Dating, Love, Nakedness, and FaithTracy Levingson writes,

Guarding your heart is a dance between two places… It means not assuming anything and not daydreaming too much about the Future with a guy… So, I say, join the dance. Trust Jesus to keep your heart safe and partner with Him as He gently leads you in the discovery process in dating. Be open, careful, and keep talking to your God as you venture out in getting to know the men He created.


So is the opposite of giving one’s heart away guarding it???

I had no clue…

Related: Unashamed | Book Review

What does it mean to give your heart to a guy? What does it look like? Because can't you give your heart just by your evil thoughts?

This is where I felt very confused and thus turned to the source of all truth… the Bible.

I don’t know why I didn’t turn there first. But anywho, at last I flipped open my Bible to the back where the concordance is. I searched for the word “Heart” and started reading all the passages that were listed.

None really seemed to address the topic of giving away one’s heart, but I kept looking.

Finally, I found the verse I was looking for.

“For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.” -Matthew 6:21

When we “give our hearts to guys,” it’s us making them our treasure.

Since our hearts belong to Jesus, as we’ve already discussed, giving our hearts to anyone or anything else is pretty much the exact definition of idolatry.

We’re also setting ourselves up for disappointment, because earthly treasures become destroyed (Matthew 6:19-20).

We can’t serve two masters.

That’s what Matthew 6:24 tells us. “No one can serve two masters, for either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and money.”


If our hearts are God’s, then let us love Him supremely.

“And he said to him, ‘You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind’.” -Matthew 22:37

ALL our heart. ALL our soul. ALL our mind.

Not part of it. Not the leftovers. ALL.


Going back to the question…

“By the way could you do a blog on what it means to give your heart to a guy? I’m not sure I understand what it all means. Because can’t you give your heart just by your evil thoughts?”

What does it mean to give your heart to a guy?

I’d surmise that it means giving him power and control over your emotions.

As you start to like a guy more and more and fantasize about him more and more, it can be easy to place all your happiness and affection on him.

I’ve been there. 

In the moment, it felt blissful. Seeing my crush immediately lifted my spirits and if he talked to me my day was made. I constantly thought about him. I built him up in my head to be the epitome some sort of impossible perfection.

After months of this blind-idolatry, I realized what was going on. And it hurt to realize that God had taken the backseat to my crush. When I had read verses about idolatry before, I never thought they could be talking about me.

On the opposite side of the coin, however, in a dating relationship there does need to be a form of “giving your heart” to the other person.

Meaning in this case, little by little letting the other person see deeper into your core to learn who you truly are, as you learn more and more about who they truly are too.

In this case, I’d say “giving your heart” wouldn’t necessarily be idolatry. It’s more like “revealing who you are” than anything else, I think.

Can’t you give your heart just by your evil thoughts?

I think so.

Like in my example above, where I made my crush into an idol by thinking about him all the time and expecting to him to be some sort of super human who never made mistakes.

We can definetly sin in our thoughts. Like those verses where Jesus talks about lust and how that’s like committing adultery in one’s heart (Matthew 5:28).

I hope this post gave you something to think about.

Have any thoughts? Additional questions? I’d love to hear them in the comments below, or of course you can always email me. :)

6 thoughts on “Thoughts on Giving Your Heart to a Guy

  1. Alessia

    I think your point about revealing each other is absolutely key. For me, there’s a difference in whether you let God be pushed on the backseat to make space for a guy or you give your heart to a guy for safekeeping, which is probably necessary in marriage since we talk about two becoming one. Crushes or relationship don’t have to become idolatry if you know your identity deep down. Easier said than done but it’s doable once being single stops being scary :)


  2. Megan

    Ooh that is such a good question! Wow now I am stumped about how to answer it too.
    So I think our hearts should 100% belong to God. He should be our sole desire and our foundation. But I don’t think it has to be mutually exclusive. That you either give a bit of your heart to a man or to God. I think it can occur at the same time (if it is the right guy.)


    1. Kara Beth Post author

      Hmm, good thoughts! :) I think so too… we can grow close to God and a guy if it’s the right guy. And I think that should happen! That’s probably a test to see if a guy is the right one or not- if he draws you closer to God or not? ?? What do you think?


  3. Justine

    Hi Kara! Thanks for this post + the reminder of Who our hearts really belong to! I don’t think we realize just how easy it is for us to give our heart to a guy, and, therefore, we are not proactive about guarding it. Anyways, you’ve given me some food for thought. Looking forward to reading more of your posts!



    1. Kara Beth Post author

      Hey Justine!
      I think you’re right- we’re not on-guard about guarding our hearts because we don’t realize how easy it can be to give our hearts to a guy. Or we think we’re strong enough on our own to withstand the temptation without relying on Jesus.
      I’m glad the post gave you something to think about :)


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