My name is Lauren and I’m 23 years old from South Africa. I am currently employed as a banker and financial advisor. I am an avid reader, addicted to Google (I google EVERYTHING), and I am generally a home body. Me time is the best time!
What’s your singleness story?
I started dating very late compared to my peers. I had my first actual boyfriend at 18 once I finished high school. I was generally very scared to start dating due to a variety of reasons (trust issues, sex, commitment). Since then I chose last year (2016) to take a hiatus from dating. I feel like I need to fully find myself and who I am before I get seriously involved and am able to fully love and commit to someone else.
What’s the best thing about being single?
Freedom to do my own thing. Freedom to find myself. Freedom to travel and explore. Freedom to live the life I feel I need to live right now. It’s not always easy to maintain independence and freedom in a relationship so definitely F-R-E-E-D-O-M!
What’s your biggest struggle when it comes to being single?
The biggest struggle would definitely be the feeling of loneliness as well as the feeling of being left behind. 90% of my friends are all either married, have kids or are in very serious, committed relationship. Then I’m just trotting along behind them.
I have those days during the month where I feel like something is wrong with me, or Im being too harsh on guys that show an interest in me, or I’m going to die alone and never reproduce (Ok, maybe I am dramatic), but I always try to get through it by remembering that I can’t be defined by being attached to another person. My purpose in this world was designed for me and me alone. He will come, my Prince Charming. Eventually. And when he does, I’ll be ready.
What’s one piece of advice you’d give to fellow singles?
Use your singleness as an opportunity to grow yourself. Be the best possible version of YOU. It’s not easy loving someone else when you not at peace with you and your place in the world. Take that job, learn that hobby, visit that country, and build lasting friendships. Do not go out looking for love or part time satisfaction. It’s not sustainable.
And most importantly, build a solid foundation with your faith. That will take you through the most difficult times both in a relationship and out.
Thanks for stopping by for this week’s edition of My Singleness Story. My Singleness Story is a series for singles, by singles. It’s a place for singles to have a voice and to share what they’re learning and struggling with during this season of life. It’s where we come together and learn we’re not alone. If you would like more information on how you can share your singleness story, you can find it here.
Read the My Singleness Story archives.