The following is a guest post by Katie of Our Seasons of Grace.
Two little words that changes life in a split second. These words can be in the form of: ‘it’s not you, it’s me’; ‘it’s just not working’; ‘I’ve realized I’m not ready’ and the list goes on. It doesn’t matter what is said, the blow rarely softens the pain.
Hearing these words, or being the one to bear the news, doesn’t change the feeling like your world around you is crumbling. You can be left feeling like you have been punched in the stomach, or your heart has been ripped out. Or both.
Life can feel dark and hopeless. It can be hard to see the light ahead.
But there is good news. And the recent celebration of Easter reminds us of this good news.
Life after a breakup is real. Hope after a breakup is real.
It takes time to notice the hope. And it takes hard work and more pain to ride the emotional rollercoaster in order to see the hope. But it is there whether you were with your boyfriend one month or were planning marriage.
There is no magic formula to avoid or stop the pain that occurs. But here are a few ways we can ride the rollercoaster to see that hope:
Face your emotions:
Emotions run wild and a whole collection of them at that. There is probably some hurt, upset, anger, bitterness and rejection to name a few. These emotions are real and from experience there is no healthy way to avoid them.
What I have learned from previous breakups is not to fight against these emotions or to act on them. But to accept them and bring them to God. Ask and allow Him to take these emotions and heal your heart.
Recognize the lies:
I don’t think there hasn’t been a breakup where I haven’t struggled with believing lies. This is an opportunity for our enemy to help bring us down when we are already low.
When a relationship has ended have you ever felt like no one, not even God cares? Have you ever felt convinced you will be alone forever? Have you ever felt this was the last opportunity to get married?
Let me assure you these are lies. There are more where they came from but we have the ultimate truth.
Cry out to God:
God is the God of all comforts. After my last relationship ended I clung to two images:
First, I began to picture running into Jesus’ arms. He, most of all, knows our pain and grief. He, most of all, cares about our hurts, ‘Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for us,’ 1 Peter 5:7 (ESV).
Second, I picture Jesus carrying our burden. Our hearts become heavy during these times, ‘Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls,’ Matthew 11:29 (ESV).
If you struggle to talk to God, read these Bible verses or listen to worship music.
Share/Open up to someone:
Don’t be afraid to share what you are feeling with a close and trusted friend. Breakups are a part of life and each person’s journey is different. Sharing allows us to feel comforted and encourage us that we aren’t alone.
Experiencing a breakup is painful time but there is hope.
Katie is an Australian in her mid-twenties seeking to live with purpose Down Under. She is a passionate writer who desires to see her words encourage and bring hope to young women. Katie lives with an American family and 2 cheeky dogs and loves to serve in Children’s Ministry at her church. You can read more on Katie’s blog – Our Seasons of Grace.