I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. Singleness is hard, y’all.
It’s definetly not for the faint of heart.
I’ve got 20 years of experience being single (despite the fact that’s how old I am), and so I’d be the first to tell you that it has not been easy.
I chose not to date until I was 18. I didn’t want to have to deal with a dating relationship amongst the other drama of high school. But while in high school I kind of naively thought that the second I graduated some guy would ask me out.
That didn’t happen.
And then the doubts began.
When all your closest friends are in relationships but you, it’s easy to feel left out or alone sometimes.
I’ve found it hardest to be single when you can’t find anyone to hang out with on Valentine’s Day, because all of your friends have plans with their boyfriends. Or when you want to have a Friday-night-movie-night, but can’t because, once again, they have plans.
Having close girl friends is awesome and all, but sometimes you do want someone who has made some sort of commitment to you. Someone you can count on, no matter what.
When the loneliness of singleness seeps in, it’s easy to start daydreaming about the future.
This is something we have to guard against.
Because the second we allow ourselves to think our lives will be better once we have a boyfriend is the second we allow discontentment to take over.
It’s the second we believe the lie that we need a person to make us happy.
And it’s the second we place too much weight on our future-boyfriends’ shoulders.
Here’s a little secret I’ve learned: If you’re waiting for a boy to stop your loneliness, you’ll always be looking. There’s only one boy with that power, and His name is Jesus.
Related: A Battle Strategy for Discontentment
Unrealistic expectations breed discontentment. When we place our hope for our future on someone other than Jesus, we will always be disappointed.
Once the loneliness of singleness hits, it’s easy to get a “why me?” attitude.
We feel victimized.Like our singleness is a punishment. A disease. Like maybe there’s something wrong with us, and maybe that’s why we’re still single.
But what if that simply isn’t true?
What if God has a reason behind our singleness, but we just can’t see it because we’re too busy feeling sorry for ourselves?
Related: 2 Reasons Why You are STILL Single
What if God has a purpose for us, and that purpose is bigger than someday being a wife and mother? God created us to glorify Him and make Him known… something that is pretty hard to do when we’re in a slump of feeling sorry for ourselves.
When the loneliness of singleness washes over us, it’s easy to forget that we are not alone.
We are not alone, even if we are lonely. We are not alone, even if we are by ourselves. And we are not alone, even if we feel alone.
God is always with us. He has promised to never leave us or forsake us. (See Deuteronomy 31:6.)
So when you feel lonely, remember that God is by your side.
Remember also that He knows what it’s like to be lonely.
When Jesus died on the cross for our sins, He experienced the ultimate feeling of loneliness.
Jesus’ Father turned His back on Jesus because He could not bear to look upon the sins that were on Jesus’ back.
That’s when Jesus uttered the most heart wrenching words in all of history. “My God, my God, why have You forsaken me?” (See Matthew 27:46.)
Jesus knows what we’re feeling when the loneliness of singleness hits. He’s been lonely too.
Since then we have a great high priest who has passed through the heavens, Jesus, the Son of God, let us hold fast our confession. For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin. Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.
5 ways we can halt the loneliness of singleness:
- Remember God has a purpose for our singleness.
- Place our hope on Jesus, not a future boyfriend.
- Remember that Jesus felt lonely too and so He can understand how we are feeling.
- Spend time with God, since He is always by our side.
- Pray for our future husbands.
- Maybe he’s feeling lonely too.
When the loneliness of singleness overcomes us, we must remember that we are not alone.
Jesus will never leave our side.
If this post encouraged you, would you mind sharing it with a friend so it can encourage her as well? Thanks! :)