When I was in the eight grade, I was head over heels for a guy. Let’s call him Relad. Relad and I weren’t in the same classes, so the only time I could see him is when we would pass each other in the hallways.
I looked forward to those times so much, I eventually memorized his schedule so I would know when exactly we would pass each other. (Not my finest moment.)
I was super shy around guys then, especially around guys I liked, so I never exactly said anything to Relad. I just kinda sorta glanced at him over the books I was carrying and then sighed. He’s cute!
Over the course of the school year, however, my crush on him grew into an unhealthy obsession.
He was literally all I could think about. Problem was, I didn’t realize I was starting to idolize him.
At this point, I had been a Christian for several years, so I thought my relationship with God was on point. Sure, I wasn’t spending as much time with Jesus as I had done in the past, but that was no biggie, right?
God and I didn’t have a strong relationship at this point, because my mind was so captivated by Relad.
The sad thing is, I didn’t even know Relad. My reason for liking him were solely based upon the fact that I thought he was cute… not anything based upon who he was on the inside.
Related: Falling in Love With Guys You Don’t Even Know by Girl Defined Ministries
The following summer, I went to a church camp with my youth group. While there, I realized what I had been doing all throughout the school year- committing idolatry by focusing on Relad instead of on God.
At first I was in shock that I had been committing idolatry. Wasn’t that only something people in the Old Testament did? Golden calves and stuff? Realizing that I could commit idolatry by placing my heart on anything before God was a big “ah ha” moment for me.
It took me a while to break the habit of idolatry. It took a lot of prayer, and I even started asking God to take away my feelings for Relad so I could fully focus on Him.
And then, a few weeks later, the thought ran through my head, I like RELAD?!? What?? It seemed bizarre to me. and in that moment, all my feelings for him were gone. Jesus had taken them away.
Since then, It has been a battle to keep God first. I don’t even think this battle is reserved for the topic of “guys.” Satan wants anything to come between us and God.
Have you ever experienced something like this?
The struggle of placing your mind on guys rather than God?
Realizing what we are doing is the first step to stopping. So if this is you, and you realize it’s you, you’re already ahead of where I was. :)
Now that we realize what’s happening, we can start to put our minds on God instead of on guys.
Firstly, pray that God will come first in your life.
This is His will for you, so He will be more than happy to dethrone any idols in your life.
“Jesus replied: ‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.‘” -Matthew 22:37 (NIV)
Secondly, meditate on Scripture and memorize verses that talk about setting our minds on Jesus.
“Since then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God. When Christ, who is your life, appears, then you will also appear with him in glory.” -Colossians 3:1-4 (NIV)
Memorizing this verse would be a great place to start.
If you would like to study this verse more closely, I created a three page workbook to help you break it down. If you’re a subscriber, you can access it on the Freebies page. If you’re not a subscriber, you can learn how to gain access here.
I also listed some verses in this blog post; they specifically deal with discontentment, but I think they can apply to this as well.
By memorizing and meditating on Scripture that encourage us to set our minds on Jesus, we are reemphasizing that concept in our hearts. The truth of God’s Word comes into our lives. And it shatters the lie that it’s okay to obsess about our crushes.
And, knowing these Bible verses gives us a weapon against the temptation of idolatry.
“Put on salvation as your helmet, and take the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.” -Ephesians 6:17 (NLT)
Thirdly, don’t feed it.
Meaning, don’t feed your mind with things that will make you focus on guys an unhealthy amount.
I don’t know if this applies to you or not, but I’ve found I can’t really read “romance” type novels or watch chick flicks or tv shows that focus on relationships or listen to love songs without my mind instantly focusing on guys. So I try not to engage in these things, or at least not very often.
If you’re struggling with setting your mind on guys instead of God, maybe you could try fasting from those things if you’re reading/watching/listening to them a lot?
It can be super easy for us to place guys (or something else) above God in our hearts and minds. By doing so, we commit idolatry in our hearts because God isn’t first in our lives.
By praying and memorizing Scripture, with God’s help we can place our minds on God instead of Guys.