In July of 2016, I was asked out for the very first time. Having been single my whole life, I had no idea what to do! I had no idea what to think! I definitely had a bad case of first date jitters.
During the days that lead up to my first date, I scoured Pinterest, looking for advice on how to handle my first date. I read article after article, wanting to know what to wear, what to expect, and how to prep.
My first date ever was to see the movie The Secret Life of Pets and then the guy and I went to Starbucks afterward and talked until closing. It was a really good first date. About six months later, my boyfriend and I went on our first date- to the zoo. Also a really good first date.
Since I only have been on two first dates, I am in no way an expert on this topic. However, in all of my Pinterest-research, I have discovered a thing or two.
So, dear friend, regardless of if you are about to go on your very first date ever, have been on countless first dates, or are just reading this in the hopes of one day going on a date, I got you covered.
How to Overcome First Date Jitters
The number one way to conquer first date jitters is to pray. If you’re feeling extremely nervous, pray about your date. Even if you have a mild case of jitters, still pray about the date.
In my opinion, the number two way to overcome first date jitters is to be prepared. To know what you’ll wear, to know how you’ll fix your hair, and to know what to expect.
Let’s tackle those three areas, shall we?
What to Wear:
I know that it can seem intimidating to want your date to think you’re pretty and as a result your mind goes completely blank and you doubt your fashion choices.
If you’re feeling nervous, wondering what to wear, take a deep breath.
Look in your closet and pick out a few outfits in which you feel stellar.
Have a friend help you if you’d like. I remember spending a while with my freshman roommate, helping her pick out her first date outfit when her now-husband asked her out. Getting a second opinion on an outfit can really be a confidence boost.
If your friend is unable to come over, text her a picture of you in potential outfits. Ask if she likes them. If you have no clue what to wear, ask for her advice.
If nothing else, she will make you laugh and ease your nerves, like how my friend Michaela calmed my nerves in the text conversation above ;)
Just keep two things in mind as you plan your outfit:
- Pick clothes that you like and that you feel like express your personality and that you feel comfortable in. Don’t pick out something that will make you feel self-conscious about yourself all night.
- Pick an outfit that is appropriate for what you’ll be doing. Don’t wear a ball-gown to the coffee shop, for example ;)
For my first date to the movies, I think I wore a nice shirt and jeans. For my first date to the zoo, I wore a hoodie (it was a chilly February day) and jeans. Simple. Cute. Me. :)
Hair and Makeup:
This also depends on what you’ll be doing/ where you’ll be going on your date. Something that matches the occasion is good, but also something that you feel comfortable with.
For example, I hate wearing my hair completely down. I don’t like it when my hair falls in my face, so when I have my hair down I have to pull back the front with either bobby pins, a headband, or pull it half back.
So, if I were to wear my hair completely down on a date, this would backfire on me for two reasons: 1) I would be messing with my hair all night, trying to push it behind my ears and being distracted from my date. 2) It’s not “me” to wear my hair completely down. So I wouldn’t be being myself.
When it comes to hair and makeup on a first date, my advice would be to keep things as simple as possible. Pick a hairstyle that you know you love. Put on nice makeup if you like to do that.
Don’t overthink it, you’ll look great :)
When it comes to Expectations:
I think it’s important not to over-estimate how your first date will go, but I also think it’s important not to under-estimate the date either.
It’s okay to feel nervous and excited about your first date. It’s okay to wonder what things will be like. It’s okay to call your best friend two or three times during the days leading up to the date.
My caution to you, dear friend, is to keep your expectations realistic: Odds are, your first date won’t be something straight out of the movie Hitch. And that’s okay.
Don’t let your imagination get the best of you. There’s no need to imagine wedding bells immediately after getting asked out.
I love, love, LOVE how Phylicia Masonheimer puts it in her post, “Dear Girl, It’s Just a Date.”
We’ve made relationships heavy.
Relationships are a serious thing – serious because they involve real hearts and raw emotions. We have to walk wisely and think clearly. But not all relationships are meant for marriage.
Maybe you already grasp that concept in your head. But I want you to grasp it in your heart – and on your next date.
Don’t try out his last name.
Don’t picture the Facebook status.
Don’t go there.
It’s just a date.
Go on the date with an open mind- “Fireworks” might go off or you might end up not really liking the guy. Either outcome is okay. It’s okay to go on a date without knowing if it will turn into a serious relationship or not.
I hope this post helped calm some first date jitters :)
I know it can be exciting yet nerve-wrecking few days leading up to that first date. But knowing what you’ll wear and how you’ll fix your hair (etc.) definitely helps first date jitters, as well as having realistic and honest expectations.
Just sit back, relax (as best you can), and enjoy the date for what it is: a time to get to know a guy better and a chance to share who you are with someone else.
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