I think I was in sixth grade when I first prayed for this. I can’t remember if someone at church or at my Christian school had suggested it. But there I was, twelve years old, kneeling by my bed and praying for my crush’s future wife.
It became a habit for about a month; I would pray for my crushes, pray for their futures, and pray for their future wives. Oddly enough, it wasn’t until a year later I started praying for my future husband. But anywho.
Lately, I’ve rekindled this idea from the 12-year-old-Kara and have started sporadically praying for my boyfriend (Caleb)’s future wife.
I do this for 3 reasons.
1. My boyfriend isn’t “mine”
By praying for my boyfriend’s future wife, I remind myself that Caleb isn’t really “mine.” I have no ownership over him, shouldn’t feel possessive with him, etc.
From observing Instagram during my single years, this is a reoccurring thought process I’ve seen girls think: He’s MY boyfriend. We’ll be together forever. Yay!
I remember a couple of years ago I thought that introducing someone as “This is my boyfriend” or only referring to someone as “my boyfriend” seemed really possessive… Lol! This was also around the time my brother and a girl referred to each other as “taken.” I found that phrase weird too.
Anywho, I was probably over thinking all of this and was simply bitter about being single. But now that I’m actually in a relationship I can see where the temptation would come to be super possessive of one’s boyfriend.
And I have to keep reminding myself that Caleb isn’t mine. Sure, technically he is my boyfriend and no one else’s, but he isn’t mine- he doesn’t belong to me, he belongs to God. A guy won’t be mine “to keep,” so to speak, until he and I marry.
By praying for my Caleb’s future wife, I remind myself that as much as I may hope Caleb is “the one,” this isn’t guaranteed. He isn’t mine yet, even though I may be secretly hoping that one day he will be.
2. My boyfriend’s future wife exists
Praying for my future husband is awesome because it encourages me to remember that the guy who I will one day marry is out there somewhere.
Praying for my boyfriend’s future wife accomplishes this same purpose in a sense.
If God wants Caleb to marry someday, his future wife is out there. If I truly care about this guy and his future, why wouldn’t I pray for the person he’ll spend the rest of his life with?
However, this is where things get sorta tricky in my mind. I’m dating Caleb, so obviously there’s a chance I may end up being said future wife. I wouldn’t be dating him if there was absolutely no way on earth I could ever see myself marrying him.
I don’t know right now if he and I will marry. But it doesn’t really matter anywho when it comes to praying for his future wife. If his future wife is me, then I’m simply praying for myself in a round-about way Lol! But if she isn’t me, then I’m praying for whoever she may be.
I feel like that was really complicated to explain; hope that all makes sense :)
3. It encourages me to focus on the present
One of the first things I did when I created my Pinterest account back in 2012 was create a wedding board. Looking at wedding pins is really fun! ;) It can be fun to daydream and come up with ideas for that future day.
As girls, we start daydreaming about our weddings from a very young age. I remember being eight and playing pretend-wedding with my best friend.
I don’t think imagining what our future wedding will be like is necessarily bad, per se. It can be harmful if we go on one date with a guy and instantly start planning our future wedding with him
Related: Dear Girl, It’s Just a Date by Phylicia Delta
Praying for Caleb’s future wife reminds me we are not engaged so no wedding planning should be happening. Lol- but seriously.
I don’t want to run ahead of where we are, nor do I want to rush the future. I want to enjoy being with him now. And I want to enjoy this season of being his girlfriend for however long it may last :)
Unfortunately, I tend to only pray for his future wife when I do catch my thoughts running ahead of things. I really want to make this a habit of something I pray for as often.
. . .
Praying for my boyfriend’s future wife accomplishes the same thing that praying for my crush’s future wife back when I was 12 did– It stops unhealthy daydreaming in it’s tracks.
So I want to encourage you to pray for your boyfriend or crush’s future wife.
It’s not easy. The first time I ever uttered “God I pray for Caleb’s future wife,” the words were hesitant and forced. But it gets easier over time, we just have to commit to do it.
Let’s stay connected! Like Joy Because Grace on Facebook.