A year ago I wrote a post entitled, “3 Ways to Maintain a Long Distance Friendship,” which was basically a long distance friendship survival guide.
Today, I want to share what to do before your best friend moves to help prepare yourself for the change.
This upcoming December, one of my current best friends is going to move 7.5ish hours away. Not exactly a happy situation in my book.
This will be my fourth best friend who moves away. So I have a tiny bit of experience when it comes to the horrible-ness of what happens when a best friend moves.
That being said, here are 7 tips to help you prepare for your best friend’s move:
1. Brace yourself
I’m not going to lie to you. It is horrible when a best friend moves. Absolutely gut-wrenching painful as you adjust to not seeing her all that often. Hard to figure out exactly what your long distance friendship is going to look like. Difficult to accept the fact that things are going to change.
As I talked about in this post, when I found out that my best friends were going to move, I cried and cried for days on end. Then when they did move, I cried and cried again. (Man, I cry a lot…)
Presently, this particular best friend gave me lots of warning to her upcoming move. (Thanks chica!) That has helped me a bunch in keeping my water-works under control.
However, knowing in advance doesn’t make the ultimate move any easier.
That’s why it’s important to brace yourself.
Be prepared to feel sad. Know it’s okay to be sad. Buy tissues! Stock up on ice cream! Print pictures of you and your best friend! Pray a lot!
2. Accept it
Come to terms with the fact that “She is moving and there’s nothing I can do about it.”
This is really hard for me to accept. If it were up to me, none of my best friends would have ever moved. However, it’s not up to me. It’s up to God. And I have to consciously choose to trust that He knows what’s best for my friends.
Accepting that your best friend’s upcoming move is essential. Denying it will only make the inevitable even more difficult.
Like I said a second ago, this is really hard for me, so I can’t tell you exactly how to accept it. I only know that lots of prayer helps :)
3. Be open with your best friend
Whenever it hits you that she’s moving and the tears start to fall, text her. Tell her that your sad. Be open and honest with her. After all, she is your best friend.
At the same time though…
4. “Rejoice with those who rejoice and weep with those who weep.” (Romans 12:15)
If your friend is moving for an exciting reason (ex: a new job, marriage, new opportunities), and she’s (for the most part) really happy about her upcoming move, rejoice with her! On the opposite side of the coin, if she’s moving for reasons that make her sad, weep with her!
Neither of these scenarios are exactly pleasant.
It can be hard to rejoice with someone if you yourself are feeling sad. It can also be hard to weep with someone if all you want to do is fix the situation- but can’t.
However, if you’re open with your best friend (see #3) and she already knows how you feel, it’s important to encourage her by either rejoicing with her or weeping with her.
To do this though, you have to know how your friend is doing with the thought of her move. Don’t just assume things.
One time, one of my best friends moved and I did NOT do this step. Her move was totally unexpected, a hard move, and yet an understandable one. Sadly, I was not a good friend to her during this time. Instead of encouraging her, I threw a pitty party for myself. I never stopped to look at how she was doing with her move, instead I made it abundantly clear that I was not okay with it.
Yeah, don’t follow my example there.
Support your friend, even when it’s hard.
5. Be as involved with the moving process as you can
In my case right now, I want to eventually take a trip with my best friend to see her new house as she sets it up. I also want to eventually help her pack up.
I know that doing both of these things will be incredibly hard for me. Like I’ve said, I never want to see one of my best friends move. However, I want to be a supportive friend to her. I want to involve myself in her moving process as much as I can without becoming annoying to her ;)
By doing this, I’m helping her move and helping myself accept her move at the same time. It’s a win-win of sorts.
6. Be prepared for change
Things are going to be different with her far away. I know it, and deep down you know it too.
Knowing in advance that things are going to change is better than suddenly looking up and realizing that your friendship is now vastly different post-move.
You won’t see your best friend on a regular basis. Y’all won’t be able to spontaneously hang out whenever you want.
BUT this doesn’t mean you have to stop being best friends!
Here are some ways you can maintain a long distance friendship:
- Phone calls
- FaceTime or Skype
- Make a Chatbook together
- Write letters
And this leads me to my final tip…
7. Consider discussing with your bestie how y’all will stay in touch after her move.
Discussing how you’re going to stay in touch is a great way to be on the offensive and ensure that you do stay in touch.
I have yet to do this when a best friend moved, but it’s something I think I’m going to do before December arrives and this best friend of mine moves.
There you have it :) My 7 tips for preparing for your best friend’s move.
I’m curious, do you have any other tips that I missed? Leave them in your comment to help your fellow sisters out :)
Related Post: 3 Ways to Maintain a Long Distance Friendship