Want to know something I think is pretty bizarre?
I write a blog about singleness.
The fact that I have this space to voice my frustrations with this season and write down encouraging thoughts that others- that you!- can relate to completely amazes and humbles me.
Because I don’t have this singleness thing figured out.
No. Way. José.
I’m constantly struggling with discontentment and jealousy- down to the point I even deleted my Facebook and Instagram apps for a while. I’m daily relearning how to trust God. I wish and pray and pray and wish that my crush will finally ask me out.
But so long as I’m single, I figure I’d better make the most of it. And that involves writing this blog. Learning that others struggle with this singleness thing too. And hopefully I can encourage them with my words :)
Which brings me to today’s topic:
The reason for our singleness.
What if the reason for our singleness isn’t because we aren’t pretty enough, skinny enough, smart enough, or funny enough for a boy?
What if God wants us single right now so we can encourage others and point them back to Him in ways we couldn’t if we were dating?
Isn’t that the reason for our existence after all? To glorify God and make Him known? No matter if we’re single or married, our life goal is the same.
God knows what He’s doing.
I promise. :)
I’m constantly relearning this in my head, but in my heart of hearts I know it’s true.
Jeremiah 29:11 says, “‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the LORD, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you hope and a future’.”
I feel like that verse is quoted a lot with the sentence “No worries, everything will work out,” somewhere around there with it.
Guys, Jeremiah wasn’t writing that down for people who had comfortable lives- where it was easy for them to trust God. He was writing to the Israelite people, telling them about their babylonian captivity, where they would be taken away from their homeland and everything comfortable.
If God could have plans involving hope and a future for foreign captives, then I am 100% positive He has plans involving hope and a future for us, too.
As my little brother would say, “God’s got this.”
So when you’re sitting there, wondering why you’re single, I want you to ponder the following two possibilities for reasons why you are single…
1. God knows we need to draw closer to Him.
How’s our relationship with Jesus going? Do we truly love Him with all our heart, soul, and mind?
I have a theory that if I really did love Jesus with everything I am, my preoccupation with my singleness would fade significantly.
Is our relationship with Him the best it could possibly be? Are we content in Him? Do we believe He loves us?
Related: The Secret to Being Content
A reason why we are single could be so that God can draw us closer to Him, without any other person distracting our focus.
2. God knows who we are encouraging.
Through this season of singleness, who are we encouraging? Who are we serving?
How active are we in the lives of those around us? How invested are we in our churches?
I believe a smile and a kind word can brighten someone’s day, and sometimes we don’t even know when we are encouraging others. That’s okay. God knows.
Take this blog for example.
Some of my readers have emailed me and let me know how my words have encouraged me. Those emails make my day!
But I still have to have faith that this blog is encouraging someone, even if they never tell me so. God knows what words to have me write, and He knows which people to bring to this blog so they can receive encouragement.
Sometimes I wonder what will happen to Joy Because Grace if one day I do start dating, and then eventually get married. Will God still want me to write about singleness? Will those posts have impact even if I’m not single myself?
When I consider the fact that I can relate to so many girls by being single, I realize there is a downside to dating. And it makes me all the more thankful for this time :)
You might not have a blog, but think about how God is using your singleness to positively impact others in ways you never would have imagined.
Go beyond the ordinary. Your day to day. Realize that God can and is using your time of singleness to encourage others.
However, attitude matters.
We can serve others and say “encouraging words” all day long, but if we are bitter that we don’t have a significant other serving alongside us, what sort of testimony is that?
It can be really hard to be thankful for this time of singleness and have a good attitude about it. That’s why I’m so grateful for the 36 girls who shared in the “Why I’m Thankful For My Singleness” series. They gave me countless reasons to be thankful for singleness.
Related: 5 Reasons to Root Yourself Right Where God Has You | Phylicia Delta
God’s got this, my friend.
Today I listed two possibilities of why God might want us single right now, but there are so many more. Examine your own life and see the positives to this season. Ask God to show you why you are single right now and then thank Him for them.
And then maybe, in time, we’ll see singleness as the blessing it is.
If this post encouraged you, you might enjoy my eBook, Single Conversations. Find out more.