The day has come where I share the raw truth about why I deleted my Facebook and Instagram apps from my phone and took a social media fast.

I’d like to think of us as two friends who were grabbing coffee (or hot chocolate) and catching up about life. As the coffee cups warmed our chilly hands, I’d lean forward and make a confession:

“So National Boyfriend Day happened in October, and it kinda sorta wrecked havoc in my heart.”

I’d bite my lip, take a deep breath, and then continue my story.

Have you ever considered taking a social media fast?

This fall I had finally come to grips with my singleness. The school semester was in full swing, and I was busy with classwork, extracurricular fun, and with serving in the children’s department at my church.

I still wanted a boyfriend. I really wished my crush would finally ask me out. But I knew that God’s timing was best and I didn’t want to rush ahead of that.

That is, until October 3rd.

I don’t know if the third of October is always National Boyfriend Day, or if it was just this year, but regardless. This was a day that threw my contentment for a loop.

Now, a cute look-at-me-and-my-boyfriend post popping up in my Instagram feed here and there doesn’t bother me. I like seeing my friends happily falling in love. (Those who post about their boyfriends everyday on the other hand… well, I typically unfollow them…)

But my heart was not prepared for the constant stream of couple-pics that appeared on October 3rd. Every girl who I followed on Instagram, if she had a boyfriend, was posting cute or awkwardly funny pictures of her and her boyfriend with a sappy comment.

At first I thought it was fun. So I kept scrolling to see who else was posting cute pics. But soon the loneliness and the discontentment set in.

I was repeatedly having the thoughts of, “I am the only one who is single. All of my friends are happily in a relationship. What’s wrong with me? Why hasn’t my crush asked me out yet? I thought he likes me too..?” 

And those thoughts made my heart sad.

So I hopped off of Instagram and onto the Joy Because Grace Facebook page. I figured if I was struggling with hard-core discontentment on National Boyfriend Day, someone else probably was too.

This is what I wrote that night:

And then I turned off my phone, and when to sleep.

The next morning, the doubts returned.

I knew it was unrealistic to think I was the only one without a boyfriend, but I as sure as heck felt that way.

I knew singleness doesn’t define me. In fact, I had just written a blog post about that a few weeks before. #OhTheIrony. But that night, in the darkness of my room, I felt like singleness did define me. That I was a looser because I was single.

During the week that followed, I so desperately wanted to 100% believe those words I wrote late at night on Facebook; I needed to believe the truth of those words so badly. But for some reason, I wasn’t there yet.

And then I felt awful. Why in the world did I post that encouraging crap on Facebook, just to stop believing it a few days later. I feel like a hypocrite! 

So Saturday, October 8th, I penned the following in my journal:

Being single is hard.

Really super duper hard. And I hate it and I need a vent-moment.

 

National Boyfriend Day was Monday apparently so there were so many cute pictures on Instagram and it was hard not to get resentful.

Ug.

Which made it hard for me to think about {insert my crush’s name here} in a positive light, as horrible as that sounds.

Contentment is hard when you constantly see people having what you want.

 

Maybe I should delete my Facebook app and log out of my personal Instagram account for a while. A social media fast, of sorts. It couldn’t hurt.

 

I just want to look at {my crush} and I in a positive light. Trusting that God will bring us together or not if that’s His will. Just trusting God. And learning contentment and how not to be jealous.

But I think it’s stupid of me to “want to be content” when I keep feeding myself a meal of covetousness. That’s sinful!

 

{A few minutes later…}

I did it. Deleted the FB app and logged out of IG. I have Chatbooks to record my pics. Plus, I was getting caught up in the “getting likes” factor anywho.

I feel free in a way.

 

I don’t want to have negative thoughts placed in my mind about {my crush} and I. Thoughts like “He’s never gonna ask me out” “He’s not interested” resurfaced this week. I haven’t thought that in over a month and I certainly don’t want to now! I know God is doing things right now in our lives and teaching us things. Sometimes I worry though, and that’s not trusting God.

 

{My crush} is a great, amazing guy. But now’s not the time.

 

I want to trust God. And be confident enough in Him that I’m not desperate. To trust that if {my crush} is the right guy we’ll be together someday and if not God has something better for me. <3

Don't get me wrong-- I love social media!! However, I discovered that it isn't always good for my heart.

I deleted my Facebook and Instagram apps, because they were sowing seeds of discontentment and resentment in my heart.

I didn’t want to be discontent with my singleness. And I also didn’t want to feel bitter towards my friends who were in relationships.

So I took a drastic step, and deleted my Facebook and Instagram* apps.

*Note: In the journal entry I said I “logged out of IG” as opposed to deleting the app. That’s because I have two Instagram accounts: my personal one and the one for Joy Because Grace. So I logged out of the personal account and stayed logged in to the JBG one.

So what happened next?

This is the part of our coffee date where I’d take a long sip of my drink and then shyly smile. Letting the anticipation build.

Well, my friend, the first week after I deleted the apps was very difficult.

I often found myself unlocking my phone to mindlessly scroll through Instagram or wanting to go on Facebook to show something to a friend. I’d unlock my phone and start to go to the app, and find it gone.

Then I’d sit there confused for a minute, wondering what to do now. I realized how much of a dependency I had built on those two social media platforms.

On October 25th I wrote an “update on the social media fast” in my journal:

It’s been going surprisingly well. It’s been about 2 weeks. I’ve logged into IG a few times to post a pic and then stalk {my mentor who has super cute kids} to see what she’s been up to -LOL! -and then log out. I’m used to not constantly checking it now.

 

Facebook I try to check at least once a day (on my computer) to check notifications and see memories.

As you can see, this was not an all-or-nothing fast for me. If it were so, the first time I slipped and logged into Instagram I would have felt guilty and probably would have stopped the fast right then and there.

But I gave myself grace. Grace to check social media here and there to see what’s going on in my friends’ lives or share something with them. And then grace to then log off and move on with the day.

As my journey away from social media continued, I found myself wanting to check it less and less.

I went a week and a half without checking my Instagram. My “daily checking of the Facebook notifications” literally turned into a quick hop-on-then-off session.

And bit by bit, I found myself feeling more content with my singleness and joyful in the Lord.

 

So how did the social media fast end?

My social media fast unofficially ended when I was in an event on campus on November 12th. I finally caved and re-downloaded Facebook onto my phone so I could upload all the pictures I had taken. I also logged back into Instagram to post a few pictures.

Soon after, though, I re-deleted my Facebook app. I had grown used to not checking it on my phone, and I came to like not having constant access to it.

As far as Instagram goes, I pretty much have stayed logged on since November 12th. I check it waaaayyy less often than I used to, but I have enjoyed using Instagram as it was intended to be used- to keep in touch with friends, NOT to compare my life with my friends’ lives.

If I find myself slipping back into the comparison mindset I was in back in the beginning of October, I promptly log off for a day or two to refocus. Then I log back on ;)

So now you know why I deleted my Facebook and Instagram apps.

Staying away from social media really did help my contentment levels increase.

My friend, the time for our coffee date has sadly dwindled away and I must go soon.

First though, I want to ask you: If you ever find yourself knee-deep in discontentment as a result of a social media platform, would you consider deleting the app for a while? Just think about it and pray about it. :)

I know what worked for me won’t work for everyone, but it’s worth a shot, right? :)

Until next time! <3


Encouraged by this post? Would you mind taking a second to share it with a friend so she can be encouraged as well? Thanks! :)

2 thoughts on “Why I Took a Social Media Fast

  1. Megan

    I so appreciate reading your words. I know exactly how cringey and uncomfortable it must have made you feel to post this. You are so brave.
    Thank you for sharing this. I’ve been through the ups and downs of trusting God with my love life and this year has been particularly rough.
    Right now I am very much single and my heart is healing slowly from rejection. Being surrounded by happy couples is like a kick in the gut.
    But thankfully God is good and his love is more than enough for me and for you.
    Stay strong my friend.

    1. Kara Beth Post author

      Thank you so much for your sweet words of encouragement, Megan! They mean a lot to me. :)
      I’m sorry this year has been rough for you. But you’re right, God IS good and His love IS more than enough for us. So very true :)

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