I met Tracy Levinson, the author of Unashamed: Candid Conversations about Dating, Love, Nakedness and Faith, at Declare this past July. We just happened to be sitting around the same table at dinner one night, and we were all sharing goals for our blogs/ministries.
Tracy mentioned how she had a heart for young singles and wanted to encourage them. She mentioned that she had in fact just written a book about dating. Well, that caught my attention, so after dinner, I walked up to Tracy and introduced myself and told her that I write a lot about singleness on my blog and that I would love to learn more about her book.
Tracy told me about her book, and then said she had a copy of it in her car if I would like it. Stunned, I followed her to her car where she pulled out a copy and generously gave it to me.
That night at the hotel, I eagerly flipped open the book. I couldn’t even wait to get home to start reading it!
With Tracy at Declare
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This isn’t just another book about purity.
PC: Amazon.com
Back when I was in high school, my private Christian school required us to take a two week “Purity Class” every year. Over the course of my high school career, I read multiple books about dating, sex, and purity and then all the girls in my grade, along with one or two female teachers, would discuss lessons from the books.
And without the words ever being verbally said, the message I took away from those classes was “Sex is bad. Sex is dangerous. Sex is forbidden.”
I wish we could have read Unashamed in that class instead of the books we did read.
Unlike the authors of these other books who never had sex (before they were married) or even who hadn’t really ever dated before, Tracy had sex for the first time when she was a teenager. She and her husband slept together before they were married. In fact, she wasn’t even a Christian until a few years after she was married.
For that reason, Tracy’s perspective about sex before marriage holds so much weight for me, because she did it. She’s not writing this book to cast judgment, but rather to give encouragement.
“As you continue through the pages of this book, you will get no condemnation from me. I could most likely beat you in a competition on unhealthy decisions concerning guys and sexuality. Seriously, let’s just go ahead and make me the winner. When I talk with young women who have questions and struggles in these areas, I share as much as I can so they will know I have been there. Since God forgives and remembers our poor decisions no more (Hebrews 8:12), I will spare the gory details. But I hope I’m gaining your confidence, and I hope you can see that in many ways I have been where you are now.”
-Tracy Levinson, Unashamed: Candid Conversations about Dating, Love, Nakedness and Faith, page 6
Before we dive into my full review, I’d like you to check out this 3 minute book trailer Tracy made, explaining her book.
Unashamed // A Summary
Unashamed: Candid Conversations about Dating, Love, Nakedness and Faith is a book Tracy wrote by answering questions young women sent to her, asking about love, dating, and sex.
The book is divided into six chapters:
1. Let’s Talk About It
In this chapter, Tracy shares her story with us.
2. Sex and Sexuality
Chapter two starts the Q&A session.
Some questions Tracy addresses are:
- “Am I a bad person for wanting to be physical with someone?”
- “How far can I go (sexually) before I’m not ‘pure’?”
- “Does the Bible really teach that Christians should wait to have sex before marriage?”
- “What do I do if I’ve already crossed physical boundaries?”
3. What do Guys Really Think?
In this chapter, Tracy lets some young men she knows answer the questions the girls have sent in.
Some questions they address are:
- “What do guys look for in someone they want to date and potentially marry?
- “How should a girl act if she likes a guy?”
- “Can we discuss making out?”
4. What ever happened to dating?
Something Tracy addresses in this chapter that I wish I had known in high school is the following… “I am going to keep reminding you that you can’t lose your purity by dating. Let me repeat. Christ is our ‘purity.’ His blood has made you clean” (Unashamed: Candid Conversations about Dating, Love, Nakedness and Faith 75).
Some questions Tracy addresses are:
- “Who should pay when I’m on a date?”
- “What are your thoughts on texting and dating?”
- “What is ‘guarding my heart’ and does it even pertain to dating?”
5. Love, Engagement and Marriage
Some questions Tracy addresses in this chapter are:
- “How do I know if I’m in love?”
- “When I am serious about a guy, are there certain questions or topics we should discuss before making a commitment?” (I love the list she gives!)
- “I was taught growing up that sex was bad. How do I retrain my thinking before my wedding day, when all of a sudden I’m supposed to love it?”
6. God and the New Covenant
All throughout the book, Tracy mentioned the New Covenant and how it affects us as believers. In this chapter, she discusses it in depth.
Some questions Tracy addresses are:
- “As a Christian, I know I am forgiven, but why do I still feel bad about myself sometimes?”
- “Explain what you mean by the word ‘covenants’?”
- “What do we do about sin in light of the New Covenant?”
Why I LOVED this book:
- First off, I tend to adore things that are written in a Q&A format. It feels so conversational.
- Tracy’s perspective on issues and how she writes about things that the Christian culture doesn’t really address.
- This kinda goes along with point #1, but I felt like I was having a casual conversation with a friend.
- I liked how she had guys share their perspectives in the book. Sometimes she even contrasted two guys’ different opinions about a topic to show how there isn’t just one way of viewing things.
- Her outlook on purity. “Purity is constant for all believers under all circumstances, and yes, in light of any sin” (Unashamed, 13). I wish that had been taught in my high school purity classes.
I recommend Unashamed to any girl who is single, dating or engaged.
Seriously.
If that’s you, I 100% recommend that you read this book. I think this book will be a great resource to me during my current singleness, and in the future too as I date and then (hopefully) become engaged. I know it will be an awesome resource for you too!
About Tracy Levinson (via her book bio):
“Tracy Levinson is a former atheist who said ‘Yes’ to a relationship with an invisible God. She is a wife, mom and Bible teacher who mentors more darling young women then she can count.”
You can buy Unashamed: Candid Conversations about Dating, Love, Nakedness and Faith on Amazon here.
