The following is a guest post by Rachel of Chasing Chels
It seems as though Valentine’s Day has always resonated as an anticipated holiday for couples and a depressing one for singles. I’ll be the first to admit that nope, it’s not much fun to spend Valentine’s Day alone.
“But hey,” everyone consoles you, “God’s just saving you for the right person.” They give you the sympathetic smile, the familiar head tilt, the comforting eyes.
The statement is most certainly correct and most of the time, these individuals are genuine, don’t get me wrong. But sometimes it’s hard to hear the same things over and over again.
Yes, haha, you think nervously, I’m still single. But God’s saving me for the —
It’s really hard to read the story of your life without being able to skip to the best chapters, isn’t it? Sometimes we look at God, and oftentimes we are more confused than we are frustrated. Why God? Why me? Why me when all of my friends are getting into relationships?
It’s not really so much that we question God’s timing…we just don’t like the waiting part.
I’ve struggled for a long time with the whole “dating thing.” I’m seventeen years old, and I have never been on a first date. I have been through dark periods in my life where I’ve thought that something might be wrong with me — something that repels teenage guys. I have read Christian books and Christian blogs about dating and relationships, but they haven’t encouraged or comforted me very much. Here’s why: it’s not the books and the blogs that are wrong — it’s me.
My exposure to society’s definitions of being truly happy has distorted God’s definition of fulfillment.
The world has reiterated over and over again, in rom-coms and romance novels, that having a boyfriend or girlfriend or a husband or wife is v e r y important. It’s basically the icing on the cake of life (besides being a billionaire, but we can’t all dream impossible dreams, can we). Falling in love is heavily emphasized on television, in movies, in books, and most popularly, in celebrity couples.
Loving someone is, mutually, a great feeling. God wired us with the desire to love and be loved — He’s not against love. He’s not keeping you single ladies (and gents) from being in relationships because He wants you to be unhappy. God’s plan from the very beginning was relationship. He knew that man would thrive off one another.
But God is a holy God.
Nobody comes before Him. No guy, no friend, no family member. He comes first.
In every chapter of your life’s story, He is the only one who will always be present. On every page He will be with you. He will not fail you. He will not break your heart. He will not lie to you or betray you. When the world falls away and violently shakes you, He will hold you together. God cannot fail. He’s just awesome like that.
So imagine how He must feel when we are so focused on some guy way down the road when we could be focusing on what He wants for us right now.
Think of it this way: if our God is good — and He is — and if our God is good all the time — which He is — why do we look at singleness as being an empty, void chapter? Why do we look at singleness as something very bland, very — solitary, the boring pages of a book that you really want to skip?
And why does our singleness come before God sometimes?
Did you cringe? I did.
Sometimes we get a little too wrapped up in being his girlfriend that we forget we are His daughters. It’s a harsh reality to face, but for those of us who are discontent with being single, it’s essential to come to terms with it. I have a big attitude adjustment to attend to.
I have a lot to learn, but I am making efforts to understand what fulfillment in God’s eyes is like. I have come to realize that singleness is not a waiting room — it’s a growing process.
God is constantly growing us, teaching us, training us. Singleness is nothing close to boring, but neither is being in a relationship. Being part of a couple is not the climax to life’s hopes and dreams — even then, God is still growing you. Problems and pains aren’t numbed by the fuzzy feelings of love. The Christian walk is one very long marathon (if you haven’t realized).
So this Valentine’s Day, I’m challenging you — yes, you, with a beautiful heart and a God-designed future — to love this chapter in your life. Embrace it. Believe in it. Live actively in it.
And stop waiting.
“For My thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are My ways your ways, declares the Lord.”
Rachel Lin is a lover of God and good weather. She is passionate about writing, fitness, fashion and film, and she hopes to major in cinematic media arts when she begins her college journey this fall. Her blog, Chasing Chels brings readers articles on topics such as lifestyle, the Christian walk, and advice on love and life. Her greatest desire is that God would touch someone through her writing, and that they would be changed by His unchanging love. When she’s not blogging (or redesigning her blog for the hundredth time), Rachel keeps friends and family updated on social media like Instagram and Facebook.