“The day I found you I found my missing piece.”

That quote popped up in my newsfeed, attached to a Facebook ad. A company targeted the ad at people in a relationship, and the product had the quote in question written on it.

My desire isn’t to bash that company. Thus, I’m going to stay pretty vague and not reveal what the product is.

It’s a sweet thought, but I will not be giving my boyfriend a gift that says something like that. Not this Christmas. Not ever.

Because here’s the thing- my boyfriend does not complete me.

Don’t get me wrong, my boyfriend is an amazing, godly guy and I like him so much. That’s not what I’m saying. I’m saying that my boyfriend is not my missing piece.

In our culture, there is this prevailing notion that we are incomplete people who are on a quest to find someone to complete us. To fill a void in our hearts, or, in this case, “a missing piece.”

I think that’s an impossible quest.

You see, I believe that I am not a ‘half-person’ who needs to find a soulmate to make me whole. I believe that I was a broken person who needed a Savior to rescue me and He restored me and made me whole again.

See to it that no one takes you captive through philosophy and empty deception, according to the tradition of men, according to the elementary principles of the world, rather than according to Christ. For in Him all the fullness of Deity dwells in bodily form, and in Him you have been made complete, and He is the head over all rule and authority…
-Colossians 2:8-10 NASB

My boyfriend doesn’t complete me because he isn’t supposed to. Without Jesus I’m nothing. I’m not a half-person, I’m a wretched person who’s completely broken and nowhere close to being halfway whole.

 

Our culture created a lie that we are half-people, needing someone to complete us. This isn't true. My boyfriend doesn't complete me and yours won't either.

 

Jesus isn’t my “other half;” He’s my everything.

And so I don’t need my boyfriend to fill a void in my life. Only Jesus can make me whole.

There is no such thing as a “soulmate”.
This word gets thrown around in Christian conversations, but it’s not biblical. The idea that we each have a specific person in this world destined to complete us is rooted in Greek mythology, not in Scripture. If it were true, it would be possible to marry the “wrong person” – the one who doesn’t complete your soul (which was the concept behind the Greek “soulmate” ideology). Since God views each of us as individuals made complete through Christ, human relationships are not designed to complete us. God Himself is our soulmate, and any other relationships come second to the one we have with Him.

-Phylicia Masonheimer

While I’m dating my boyfriend, I’m not trying to figure out if he’s “the one” or my soulmate or missing piece. I’m trying to discern if I love him with a 1 Corinthians 13 kind of love. The forever kind of love. I’m discerning if I want to spend forever with him. I’m examining to see if we have the criteria I mentioned in this video.

My boyfriend and I don’t complete each other, rather we complement each other.

I’m not talking about the “You look nice today” sort of complements, although those are great too ;) I’m talking about how mint complements sunshine yellow, or how peanut butter complements jelly.

We go together. Where one of us is weak, the other is strong. When I freak out, he is the calm to my storm.

My boyfriend doesn’t complete me nor do I complete him. We are not incomplete humans but rather two full humans, filled with the love of Christ, who have come together to do life together.

He makes my life better. More interesting. More fun. And I strive to make his life better too.

To my single and dating friends alike, you do not need a guy to be your “missing piece.”

A boyfriend or husband can’t make you whole again. Only Jesus has the power to make broken people whole. So turn to Him to heal your brokenness. Turn to Him to make you new.

Don’t expect your boyfriend (or future boyfriend) to be able to complete you in that way.


Let’s be Instagram friends! @joybecausegrace

3 thoughts on “My Boyfriend Does Not “Complete Me”

  1. Jeremiah

    Exactly! So smart. Congratulations on 2 years. I am sure being a cool and confident girlfriend has played a huge part in your relationship. Nagging and complaining is the WORST!

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